losing caution

We had the opportunity to see Into The Wild this weekend, Penn's latest film based on the book by Jon Krakauer. The movie does a pretty good job of following the book, and from what I understood back when I read it, the book does a pretty good job of following Chris McCandless' life.

And it's already proven controversial in some circles because when we arrived home raving about the movie my mother stopped me short, tsking and frowning over the waste of a life.

What I think she really meant was what an ungrateful little bastard shit who didn't call his parents and went off and acted like a crazy person and still didn't call his parents and what about a real job and a real life and he gave all of that up and then look what happened, what a waste, and he never called his parents. But as one who's become remarkably adept at reading between the tsks I simply left it at that because I knew he was a concept that challenged her belief system so strongly that it was incomprehensible. And besides, he could have called his parents.

Truly bucking the system without a safety net is a terrifying thing. It takes a rare person to destroy all of your possessions and leave off alone trusting the divine to pave the way. And an even rarer person to run screaming headlong into that unknown knowing only that they cannot for one second more try and live a life not meant for them.

I saw Chris full of bravery and truth, a societal madman who knew the secrets we all keep. A being who knew his life didn't fit, knew it was an illusion, and better, he knew what he wanted and decided to pursue it no matter what. While I might disagree with his course of action or the nature of what bound him I cannot disagree with his passion. His ability to go against conventionality allowed him to experience a life that most of us will never experience and consequences be damned, that counts for something.

And it made me wonder what I would do if nothing scared me, if I could put conventionality and fear aside and charge headlong into my passion. Because I know it would mean I was somewhere other than here. I know that for certain and yet I soldier on carrying responsibility and caution and the necessary order of things along with me. And at the same time life doesn't get any longer than it is right this second. It's only shorter tomorrow. It just got a bit shorter while you read this post. A bit shorter again, while I clickety click.

What would you do if nothing scared you?