the simultaneous destruction of the english language and young minds

There's a routine I go through most days when dropping of M. She's got a mini-posse, the same few friends are faithful most days. Each morning when we show up they run up screeching M's mommy, M's mommy!! and they all prance around and show me their outfits. I'm not sure how it's come to this but it's the only time in my life where fashion advice is sought so I rather enjoy it. They like me, these wee peeps and as such they show off, shoes here, bracelet there look at me look at me and I oooh and aaah and call them lovelies and babies and dudes.

The other day in the midst of our routine the fire alarm starts going off. The teachers look at me it's just a drill but you can't leave they say and cornered, I follow suit. I'm arbitrarily assigned three little ones along with M and we start the toddler journey to the special fire drill location across the complex. It's clear there is no fire and this is just practice but regardless I'm a hostage in the madness but M's happy because I'm along for the ride.

While it's all well and good I'm also a bit annoyed because this is making me really late and the teachers are clearly using it to their advantage by tossing random children my way. So I'm hanging with the little people and after a dozen long minutes of nothing I mutter I'm in the third vortex of the dark side of hell not really realizing I was speaking out loud. So one of my temporary charges says vortex? what's a vortex? and another says dark side of hell, what's that, what's that?

Nice. Fearing the wrath of a dozen preschool parents I say well you know, it's my way of saying I have to go. So one of them starts yelling M's mommy has a vortex, M's mommy has a vortex, I want a vortex too! and I'm mostly pleased they've forgotten about the dark side of hell.

Finally we've been given the green light, the long journey back to the room commences. I get to the door and say dudes, this has been rocking but I gotta bounce and my little cohort starts bouncing, literally bouncing their way back to their class. Bounce, they say I gotta bounce!