Thursday, September 14, 2006

bitch slapped

Last night M and I were taking a bath. All of a sudden M leans over and smacks me in the face. Hard. Actually, really hard. It's the first time she's ever hit me so I was taken a bit aback. I dug deep and very calmly told her NOT to hit mommy, and how that HURT mommy, and we DON'T hit each other. And she looked at me, said "yeaahh mommy" and hit me again.

OK, the kid has game. I got me some game, too. Game on, kid.

Time Out. I grab the dripping M and am heading into the time out zone. We use a baby gate in her room for this, so after a couple minutes, I went to the other side of the gate and again said M, please do not hit mommy. Mommy does not hit M, and M does not hit mommy. If you hit mommy, you will go to time out. Blah, blah, wasted breath, and so on - average time out (read: futile) discussions. But then, I said again, M does not hit mommy. M again says "yeah, mommy", and WHACK. Repeat this scenario five more times with five more time outs. And then once more. All the while she is laughing hysterically.

I literally had no idea what else to do so I poured myself a large glass of red wine and put her to bed. I was whacked into submission. Or stupidity. Or both.

I don't even know what I really think about using the whole time out theory - if that is really a useful philosophy or not - in fact, I am unsure whether I have a philosophy at all.

advice welcome....


Jenorama said...

Wow, first time reading and commenting and already giving advice! Woo hoo!

I think you handled it effectively. Especially the big glass of wine and putting her to bed! LOL!

And now that you have made your point with the talking, I think the only thing I'd do next time (for there will surely be a next time!) is just put her in time out and don't say a word. Ignore her.

She is thriving on the attention-- probably too young to know good attention from bad (ha! Aren't we all!)-- but being ignored won't be quite so hilarious.

crazymumma said...

I never had to give time outs to my big girl. My little girl is soooo defiant we have struggled with humane and fair ways of handling her. I often have fantasies of locked cupboards...haha. I think time outs work for some, not for others. She really got you and bravo for walking away....sometimes a few days can build an understanding in a small child.

Mama C-ta said...

I wish I had some advice but Cricket's only 14 months and IMO still too young to catch on to time out or pretty much anything I say. At least that is what I keep telling myself. To me it sounds like you handed it correctly. Maybe go with a shot of whiskey next time instead of the wine??

Deezee said...

I never used time outs with my son, but then again he never gave me 5 consecutive whacks that justified a trip to the bottle.

My pediatrician prescribed (yes, on a pad and all) in our first visit to read the first three chapters of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. I know it has served me over the years, though I can barely remember (consciously) a word I read...parental brain freeze...

Penny said...

I found that any, if not all, the philosophy I had before having my daughter, completely changed during the first year of her life.. again, during the second and went completely out the window after the third..

They say structure is essential and following through.. and natural consequences..

And, of course 'they' are correct. But, I'm not a saint. And, I don't know one single mother who is.

If nothing else.. walking away to think instead of reacting is something for which you will never feel regret. And, the wine helps.