Saturday, October 07, 2006

all that and a side of rice

After a bit of recovery we headed south towards the islands. After a week or so of jumping around some gorgeous slices of paradise we had to get back to the mainland. We opted to take an overnight ferry back to the mainland (either that, or sanction a speed boat, and again, we are the latter, the poor, the ones with a backpack) so we figured, rock on - a nighttime cruise, beer on a deck, lanterns. Yum.

Not so much. We were each given a number, and those numbers were spaced a foot apart around the length of the boat. I realized quickly (damn if my observational skills aren't excellent) that those numbers were for our heads. And we were to lie down on the floor. About 4 minutes after that sunk in, the lights went off. Horizontal pitch blackness cum bizarre sleepaway camp for the next 4-5 hours. But it was actually cool in that really awful sort of way.

We were woken up to the sounds of people beating the side of the boat and yelling "get up. taxi. get up. taxi". We stumbled off the boat and were immediately herded into a 73 datsun, i mean, taxi. We said "bus stop" they said "no problem" and dumped us at a stall with a woman who said she was a travel agent. Shit. We've been down this road before. We want the public bus station. We are going to take a BUS. But oh no, there is NO bus station in this town. Fuckers and bullshit, people, yes there is - but after 20 minutes walking in the pitch black we give up and head back. It's 4am, it's raining, and you want 5X what a bus ticket would cost. You better have a supafine bus, bitch.
Oh yeah, supafine bus. No problem.

An hour later the woman yells "Go, Go, your bus, they take you" and simultaneously two guys grab our packs and throw them into a pickup. We scramble after them and the truck takes off down the street, chasing a bus right past the bus station (and there it is you travel agent fuckmistress) and they start honking and swerving. The bus pulls over in the middle of the street and the guys jump out and toss our backpacks inside. Again, we follow.

So now we've paid 5X more than we should for the pleasure of riding a rickety old piece of shit worse than public transit bus. We are the only ones on it because it is still in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. So we promptly do the only thing left to do, which is fall asleep.

I wake up a couple of hours later, the sun is shining, and I love the smell of diesel in the morning. And wait for it - our supafine bus is chock full of Thai schoolkids. Gorgeous black haired children top to bottom. They put us on a freaking schoolbus, going to hell knows where but with many frequent stops. Somehow we slept through all of it, and woke up to a bus packed (3 stacked up next to me alone) of kids. While I appreciated the fine educational transportation system.....Fuck you, travel woman, fuck you, 2 guys in a pickup.

And then out of nowhere (and in the middle of it) they kicked us off the bus. School's out, kids.

But since I seem to compulsively do things in threes (well, ok not always dammit) I'll be serving part three up soon with a side of Pad See Ew.


mrs.incredible - aka Tabba said...

Damn......I just don't even know what else to say.

acumamakiki said...

In my heart I'm a nomad, in reality I'm a puss and this would have sent me over I tell you. That last photo is incredible and so is this story. More please!

Mary P. said...

This is so much fun!!

To read about, that is. To experience? I wouldn't have been angry, I'd have been scared spitless. Which is why you actually DO the world travel, and I just dream about it - because the only kind I could afford is this kind, and, well... Colour me chicken.

But more, I want to read more! (You writing a book about all this?)

Z said...

Pfft. That's nothing. Ever tried British Rail?

*Duck and hide*

Momish said...

I don't know how you manage to stay calm and sleep, of all things! I eagerly await part three. How else would someone like me know what its like to really live on the edge?

Esereth said...

I am so unaccustomed to reading and commenting in blogs where people actually do stuff besides be bemusedly unhappy. I'll need some time to adjust.

Penny said...

I am loving this. Especially during Canadian Thanksgiving, which I am sacrificing to study and during this break, reading your stories, I am entertained, have something to look forward to in my future travels and am thankful for what I have and even for the public transportation that I sometimes curse.



And, beautiful pictures!!

Denguy said...

Holy crap. I'll not go.
Ooo, give me the all-inclusive resort with five-star service please!

Loralee Choate said...

Every time I bitch in my mind that I am too poor to travel the world(Which I tend to do a lot, dammit)and why do I live in a place where going anywhere COOL is such a pan in the ASS, I will now think of this post and the flip side of seeing new places.


Thanks for chirping on my blog!

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Very cool and love the photos. What a story.


Suebob said...

I love your travel adventures. I wish I were with you!

dogfaceboy said...

Oooh. Not my fun. But yours, definitely yours. [Thank you for my bday haiku; it's perfect.]

Jenny said...

Holy crap. This makes my blog look so pathetic.

But I want more. MORE!

gingajoy said...

a first I thought you were doing all this *with the drool factor* but now realize this is a retelling.

nice story. keep it comin'!

meno said...

This is not an adventure that i would have taken with the aplomb that you did.
But it's very cool to read about from my warm bed with a cat on my lap. I am a wuss.

Anonymous said...

wow...I love your adventursome spirit..but holy crap!

crazymumma said...

Sigh...I want to call a travel agent. These adventures, so full of trial just sound like so much fun.

Mocha said...

Hey. Do you have a more interesting life than I?

Yes. You probably do. That's ok. I'm only jealous on odd numbered days.... what's today again?

This is incredible - especially that you haven't seemed to hurt heavy objects at people yet. Can't wait to read more.

lildb said...

the picture alone makes my heart thump. never mind the story.

dammit. I wish I could borrow your memory of some of your travels for a bit.