Sunday, January 28, 2007

it's supposed to be a temple anyways

A week ago (bet you didn't think I could keep this to myself) I started a cleanse. It's been six days now, and I've drank the toxin-getter-outer every day as well as ample amounts of green tea. I've eaten very little (J is still fasting but um, hello, no way in hell) and what I am putting in my system is all very good - mostly proteins and vegetables, a bit of whole grains.

And the thing is, I feel pretty good. Not fabulous, but better. More energy. Cleaner. Humming.

It's one of the things we've really gotten lazy with since M - convenience rather than mindfulness. Microwaving instead of cooking. And it shows. We've both rounded out a bit, gotten sluggish and lazy. And we've burned many a mental calorie just thinking about it.

And it's amazing how much one can rationalize. I'm still a size 8, 8's not bad. So what if I was a 6 last year.... And so on. But it's not about size or weight (ok it is, but it's also not)

It's about mindfulness. It's about making good choices instead of punishing yourself with bad ones, and not in terms of weight, but in terms of how it makes you feel.

And I feel pretty good this week. Clear headed. In control. Mindful. Each time I go to eat something, I think about what it is. What it's made of. Where it came from. And so on.

I know this sounds like a post about dieting. But it's really a post about paying attention. And I am sharing this with you now because I want to make myself further accountable. I want to crawl out from under the mental rock I've been living under in regards to my own wellness. And I know from the places I visit many of you are wrestling with a lot of the same thoughts, and they manifest themselves in different ways - how we eat, how we write, how we parent, and how we show up in the world.

This is a post to remind all of us we have a choice. Let's choose to honor ourselves, in no matter what form that takes.

Namaste, friends.


Laurie said...

You are right Jen. It is about mindfulness, making good choices and honoring ourselves. I really need to work on that.

Thank you for this post and for your comment on my blog. You are a truly wonderful human being.

flutter said...

I am so with you, on this. Since finding out I am ill, I have had to make so many choices about my vessel.
I needed to make the distinction between can and temple.

I want to be a temple. Namaste, precious girl.

scribbit said...

I'm in agreement. So many things are a matter of self control and for me, as much as I love to eat, it's easy to loose myself in eating. I've felt the same way: sluggish, out of sync with myself and oddly enough did the same type of thing today. Fasted just to feel like I could focus more inwardly and get myself back on track and get back my self control. It's about eating but it's also about more. Maybe I'm sounding just too weird here, but I think I understand what you're saying.

Thailand Gal said...

I can see it is not about dieting. And I understand fully about mindfulness with food. It's something I haven't been mindful about in the past but am making a special effort with now.

It's easy to forget to honor our bodies. We get out of touch. I'm awake at this hour, having broken a fever I didn't even know I had. LOL



Susanne said...

"This is a post to remind all of us we have a choice. Let's choose to honor ourselves, in no matter what form that takes. "

Thank you very much for this reminder.

Though I have to admit that I'm eating pizza while typing this. But organic pizza.

QT said...

Mmmm, yes, sometimes we love food more than our bodies. You know I am behind you on this one 100%.

J is a trooper. I cannot fast for the life of me.

kristen said...

Um, what are you doing inside my brain? This subject has been weighing heavily (pun intended) on me and I'm trying to 'clean' myself up with my eating. And yes, it is about weight and feeling good naked but it's mainly about the fact that food reacts physically in my body and I need to make changes.
I freak out even reading the words fasting, it's just not for me. I've always wanted to do a cleanse but haven't the guts to follow thru.
Thank you for reminding me what it's really about, treating my body with respect.

NotSoSage said...

Jen, thanks for this. It's a good reminder for me especially as I've been a bit of a slave to the convenience food the last couple of weeks, with Joe away. I have a pretty complicated relationship to food. I also have a lot to say (in person, not in blog) about obesity and health and food and...
Maybe I'll put it in my blog someday, but now is not the time.

I will say that I'm much more fastidious about what I put in Mme L's body than what I put in my own. That might lead you to believe that we therefore eat well, but we really only share the same food one meal a day. Anyway, I'll spare your comments section for the time being.

Oh! And aw, shucks, thanks for linking me! I'm slightly sheepish about the title you've given me, but I'll roll with it!

De Aufiero said...

I appreciate this reminder because I find I am LEAST mindful when eating. It's how I erase myself and my stress.

Mad Hatter said...

Mmmm, well yes. All of this is true. It is, however, extremely hard to put this mindfulness state into perspective when your husband is working 14 hour days, your toddler is refusing to nap, and you can't move your feet without stepping on a toy. I'm afraid that all too often mindfulness gives way to out and out exasperation and when that happens nothing does the trick like chips and beer or chocolate and red wine.

Sorry but that is my truth at the moment.

Juliness said...

Thank you for this well-worded confirmation, my friend. In a conversation with my brother last night, where I was angrily venting and feeling sorry for myself, he stopped me short with the question, "Why are you punishing yourself?"


Today I resolve to honor myself and others.

Tabba said...

I agree & thank you for putting this out there so I can finally face it myself.
I find that in the winter time it is so easy to rationalize these bad choices in eating habits....
But I also need to apply the good choice mentality in regards to other things going on as well. It really is easy this time of year, being cooped up and getting a darker attitude to fall prey to decisions that you otherwise might nto make.
Thanks again, for putting this out there. I'll probably be visiting again to try and soak it all in a little more.

Julie Pippert said...


And you phrased it completely right: choosing GOOD for ourselves.

(Wow, if you only put one O in good it spells God and suddenly that sentence had an entirely different meaning. What a difference one letter can make...)

Every week for the last three I've hit a new weight goal and each time they ask "What are you doing?" and I say, choosing good.

Bad doesn't seem so good, these days. ;)

I say all that with full understanding you aren't talking about dieting. I am a fan of mindfulness in general, so your reminder is a lovely one, that is spot on.

Julie Pippert said...

Mad Hatter, if I may say...

I have been in your boat.

I don't think you need to (if you do?) feel any guilt or anything about not living up to some ideal.

Man, am I on the "ideally fatigued" bandwagon these days or what. But I am, I am absolutely ideally exhausted.

What mindfulness means to me is making the best choice you can.

Let Miss M nap and you relax for 1/2 hour? Or cook healthy vegan live meal? Which is the best choice for you in that case?

I spent at least 2 years choosing "nap and relax." That was a good choice for me.

I am sure you do the best you can. Circumstances will change, and the key is to be mindful when one area lightens up and makes space for you to care for another area. I'm sure you do.

I'm sure I'm out of line, preaching to you, and on Jen's blog no less.

I just know how AWESOME you are and I worried I heard a thread of something a wee word working...a little overwhelmed and sad. So I really wanted to reach out with sympathy and understanding.

Solo prima parentis (my joke) can be rough, as can 2.

God help me.

God help us.

God come here and babysit this toddler so I can have two hours alone in a bookstore with a cuppa and novel. ;)

Mad Hatter said...

No not sad. Very happy. Just a realist when it comes to understanding my own coping mechanisms. And nap? What's that?

jen said...

Oh, Mad. And Julie. And all of you.

My god, I understand. I've been living that for 2 years. Which is why I needed to take a stand for myself, but wow, it didn't come until now - and god knows how well I'll do with it. I was just wanting to put it out there, as something I am wanting to continue to be mindful of - but in NO way wanting to sound judgmental...

Mad, I heart you entirely. But you know that already. And if I were closer, I'd be part of your village in a second (and vice versa, please)

mamatulip said...

Excellent reminder, Jen. :)

Julie Pippert said...

I didn't take it judgmental. I think its a lovely post, and I loved it.

I clearly projected onto Mad but with good intentions so hopefully you both keep liking me anyway. :)

nomotherearth said...

So true, I've taken the easy way out more times than I can remember since the Boy was born.

I lean towards the Mad side of things lately. Sometimes the only thing that get me through the day, is the thought of red wine or chocolate at the end of the day. It's not a good thing, but right now, that's what happening.

I admire your strength. (And, fasting...? Um, no thank you. I likes me my food.)

carrie said...

Oh yes, I just recently crawled out from under that rock too - but I have to admit, the "Detox-7" has remained unopened, it scares me a little.

Mindfulness, in EVERYTHING, is a good thing. Hope I can do it too!


Lillithmother said...

Good for you Jen...a good cleanse resets our clock (so to speak) and can help sweep away the cobwebs that we didn't even see!

I've learned the hard way that honoring my SELF is crucial to not only my well being, but also those around me. And as Crazy Mumma put it "without you, there is no them".
I'm looking to do a spring cleanse...

Purge on sister!

Lil xo

Ruth Dynamite said...

Ah yes. It's just way too easy to pack it in in mindless oblivion. Great message.

Lucia said...

Namaste. Mindfulness, yes. This is a wonderful enlightened post that has had a wonderful ripple through blogland (at least I believe so through these comments). Maybe this is why I've been feeling sluggish. I've been blaming winter.

ecm said...

I've been thinking about this more generally the past few's kind of crazy that we have so many bad food choices. Did you read the article in Sunday NYtimes, Unhappy Meals? Very interesting and definitely ties into this.

ECR said...

Once again, I'm away for a few days and I feel like I've missed everything! Even when you are slowing down and cleansing, your ideas go a million miles per hour (as opposed to the 80 miles per hour at which my car was clocked by a state trooper today). I like this idea of cleansing, even though I'll probably have to put my own spin on it. Thanks for the inspiration.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I agree with you! It's just that making the right choices, when it comes to food, is so difficult for me! I am finally in a place where I am tired of simply whining about my appearance. It is terribly easy for me to also fall victim to the rationalization game! Like you, I do feel somewhat better knowing that I am actually taking steps to make a difference! Good luck with your lifestyle change! I am hoping mine will last,as well!

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Feel free to come back anytime!

KC said...

Amen, sister.

And might I recommend some mighty tasty Oat Digestive Crackers that we have in bulk around here.

You think you know cleansing.

Seriously, namaste.

Em said...

I'm right there with you.

Mrs. Chicky said...

It sounds easy, and it looks easy on paper (or screen), but it's so damn hard to be good. It's the Oreo's. They taunt me in the middle of the night. Eat me. Eat me.


urban-urchin said...

Along these lines I am going to suggest a book for you (I'm going to post on this very soon btw)

"The Four Day Win".

Check it out. Love the post and you as always.

crazymumma said...

I don't know what happened....I left a nice long comment here and now it is gone....hmmmm, well I templed my body tonight by eating a huge amount of ice cream. Thats not what I said the first time I commented but there you have it.

Momish said...

Well, just making the step to quit smoking this week, I can say I honestly know how you feel. It is hard though, so like Mad, I can relate to "pass me the potato chips now!" I am so hyper conscious right now due to the not smoking, it is all I can think about. Mindful to the max. Best of luck to you!

P.S. I admited the quitting smoking on my blog so I would be accountable for it too!