Wednesday, January 24, 2007

touch of grey

J mentioned last week that he was considering cutting off his dreadlocks. I was taken rather aback, given how long they had grown and how much energy he'd put into maintaining them over the years. We talked briefly about it and then he let it go, so I was surprised when I walked in the door last night and he said he was ready to cut them all off.

Me: Whoa. Are you sure?
Him: I think so
Me: What are the pros?
Him: I want a fresh start. It's time. I am fasting as well, it's a whole new energy shift.
Me: Alright. What are the cons?
Him: I guess it just freaks me out. I've had them for so long.
Me: At least no one will offer you drugs any more. (He, whether on the road or in the city, gets offered drugs all the time. It's always framed with 'white rasta' and then a quiet push for dope.)
Him: That's true......Is that a pro or a con?
Me: I don't really know. Getting accosted by dealers has it's pros, they always have good directions and where the best food was. Maybe you should wait till our trip is over? It's like a gateway into a whole other thing, that hair. I got the best falafel in my life because that one dude showed us where to go.
Him: No. That sort of makes me want to do it now even more.

So after M goes to bed we put on some music and the cutting begins. The whole time I am worried that his hair is going to be a freaky disaster, full of uneven lengths and bald spots. But once I am done it's adorable - spiky and cute. It's like having a whole new man in the house.

He doesn't get hung up on much, but cutting off his locks was hard for him - I offered to take a magic marker to one of his t-shirts and write "Dude. I KNOW." on it so when everyone says the obvious "You cut your hair!" today he can point to the words.

I'd totally wear that shirt, but I don't think he'll go for it.


Anonymous said...

Maybe you can give us a follow up post on this?

He may be ready for the shirt tomorrow. I have a teardrop tattoo, so I have a feel for how that goes.

And it sounds so good, I'm having falafel for lunch today.

NotSoSage said...

Oh, man, I feel for J. That's a huge decision.

I would recommend a button, so he could wear it until the shocked expressions slowed down a little.

I get offered drugs all the time, too (well, when I'm not with the kid). I've always wondered what it is...

Oh, The Joys said...

What? No before and after photos?

Mad Hatter said...

I find the title of this post interesting given that it is about hair and aging into a new sense of one's self.

jen said...

De, Joy - a follow up post indeed. We took pictures but I need to clear it w/ J.

Oh So - it's the hippie in some of us, can't be helped.

Mad - the combo Dead song title with how it represented the post couldn't be passed up - glad you noticed it.

Julie Pippert said...

I recall when my husband gave up his hair.

I was LOL at your appreciation for the benefits of the long hair. I must say, similar experience here LOL!

It's amazing how he's gotten progressively shorter and shorter (length of hair, not height...just realized how badly written that was LOL) over time. In our case, aging has brought SHHHHHHHH a bit of Yarmulke Pattern Baldness with Sympathetic Receding Wings.

He's conceded to a bit of spike (which I think looks fun) and admits he really prefers shorter for ease and so forth.

We're both strictly wash and wear these days. ;)

s@bd said...

I didn't picture him with dreads (did I miss a picture somewhere along the line?) but now I'm having fun picturing him with dreads ... only now he doesn't have dreads.

(way to mess with my psyche)

J Fife said...

Oh, I always wanted dreads, but feared I'd have to shave my head to rid myself of them. Had I known they could have led to great tips from pushers, I would have dreaded(?) my head.

Looking forward to the photos.

wendy boucher said...

A fresh start always feels good, even if it's a little scary letting go of your hair. short and spiky sounds really good.

mamatulip said...

I love your shirt idea. ;)

I feel for J -- I lived with a girl who spent a very, very long time forming and maintaining dreads. Several of them matted together at the back of her head and formed this giant...clump, for lack of a better word, and she ended up cutting them. I think we all cried a bit that day, seriously.

I had to laugh at the part where you said people offered him drugs. Tough call on that one, pro or con? LOL!

scribbit said...

I can't help but wish there was a picture--both before and after.

Mrs. Chicken said...

I wish I'd had that shirt when I went bald in 2003! I lost all my hair and then a year later it grew back. I can identify with having your hair be a part of who you are.

I bet he looks great. Must be like taking a lover! ;)

carrie said...

A good haircut will do wonders for a marriage!! I'm jealous, there is no wiggle room in the buzzcut my hubby sports.


Mrs. Chicky said...

Is it wrong that I got all hot while reading this post? There's something about major transformations that does it for me.

Now, did his hair have a touch of gray when you cut it? Because that? Also sexy.

meno said...

Nothing wrong with a new man in the house.

How did M take it?

QT said...

Oh yes I'm with Meno, what did M have to say? Also, I would have gone for the shirt completely.

Laurie said...

A real watershed moment! I imagine it will take some time getting used to for both of you.

I like your t-shirt idea. I needed one when I decided to quit coloring my hair. People kept asking why my roots were "blonde". Ack.

Em said...

I wish I could see pictures. Even back of the head pictures... It must feel so weird for him!

flutter said...

Yay for new starts! I will bet he's adorable either way. Brave of you to be the cutter.

You are so badass!rvl

Thailand Gal said...

It's a good idea. He can always go back to it if he finds the short hair too "common". :) How long did it take him to create them?



KC said...

I must have that shirt. Seriously.

Let's get some made.

Tabba said...

I tried to post a comment earlier, but the verification box decided to be all crazy.

I agree - follow up post. Pleeeeeeeease?!?!

Were you guys listening to the Dead during the cuttin' session? Just curious.

Deb said...

Wow...big cleansing goin' on....

feels good, nothing like a haircut to make you feel all shiny and new.

kristen said...

wow. first that J had dreads and then that he so easily, cut them off. has M seen him without them? cool though.

urban-urchin said...

Yeah I'm with OTJ's. Where are the pics? For the sake of anonimity you can use the black box over the eyes but come on Jen!!!

I would wear the shirt too.

An aside- I saw a guy with the best teeshirt yesterday it said "The liver is evil and must be punished." and had line drawings of different bottles of alcohol.

Tabba said...

Jen - this is totally off the subject of J dog's hair, but could you send me the code for the Just Post button? I've been meaning to ask you this for weeks now - but I'm brain dead.
If you go into my profile, my email address is in there....thanks, sweets.

Hel said...

I used to have dreads. After a while I got sick of never being able to do anything new with my hair.

We drove to the top of Table Mountain, cut them off one by one and tossed them in the direction of the ocean. It was a glorious day.

Afterwards we got romantic in the car. We thought we were safe because the road was closed for repairs. But the next moment a family car arrived. I don't know whose facial expresions were the funniest. The parents or the teenagers.

But I hated growing my hair after shaving it.

crazymumma said...

I somehow knew that J had dreads. It was the way you wrote about him because I do not remember you ever mentioning how he looked before. Strong decision for him, a snake sheds its skin, renewal, phoenix and all that.
How did M react I wonder? When another Dad I know cut off his dreads, his sons flipped out and they had to make them a mini daddy dolly with some of his hair.
And when mr mumma cut off his glorious long blonde hair that everyone envied, I kept it and put it in a treaure box with the first flowers he gave me. I'm odd like that.

Enjoy the new short haired boy toy. ;)

lildb said...

ya want I should make you one?

you know I totally would. because I loves you, baby.

kittenpie said...

It's funny how much we invest in hair. I had butt-length hair for some years, and finally decided it was time for it to go. I cried when I heard the scissors slicing through it, but I have a whole new perspective on it now - without all those years invested in it, it's just hair. I don't worry about it any more.