Sunday, February 18, 2007

suchitoto

We headed east yesterday and found ourselves in this magical little colonial town nestled in the mountains. Cobblestone streets, a gothic and enormous church anchoring the center of town. Children chase pigeons, mamas chase their children, and papusas are being cooked in the streets.

I think of all I've seen so far, I am most enchanted with this tiny spot.

We'll stay for another night before heading farther east to a few towns J wants to explore. We also decided to cut the trip short by two days.....I've overestimated the amount of time I want to be away from M, a comforting and surprising experience all at once.

My heart beats slower here without her. I see her face in the faces of the children and I am wistful and joyful all at once. One in particular caught my heart last night, and I ended up giving her the bracelet I had got for M, knowing I can easily pick up another and the squeal of joy from the little guapita was richer and more beautiful than I'd thought possible.

I have entered more fully into motherhood on this trip - as strange as it sounds, the evolution continues even across the continent and in broken spanish, it beats strong and fierce, pulling me north.

Buenos Tardes, amigos.

35 comments:

Thailand Gal said...

It's wonderful reading all of this from you. I will be so interested to continue reading more as you process it and write it out. :)

I'm glad you gave the bracelet to the little girl ~ for reasons I will explain another time.


Peace,


~Chani

NotSoSage said...

Jen, so beautiful. What great experiences...and the way you're expressing them. I completely understand you wanting to get back, while still enjoying the trip. Been there, for sure.

meno said...

The first time i traveled away from Em i felt this empty weight in my chest the entire time.

It's lovely to read how you made a little girl squeal.

flutter said...

Ay, Mi Jen. su corazon reside en dos lugares, yo considera. Su hija y este lugar. Recorrido con seguridad.

mamatulip said...

In a way I am envious of your trip, because I have not traveled much in my lifetime, yet would love to. Yet...I honestly don't know if I could be away from my kids for longer than a few days. Heck, Julia slept at my MIL's on Friday night and I was missin' her hard by Saturday morning.

So I can totally understand you wanting to come home to your gorgeous girl sooner. :)

Oh, The Joys said...

Mmmmm... wish I was there!

kristen said...

Isn't it the most beautiful thing, to realize how strong our bonds as a mama really are? And it's always best when we catch that gift when least expected. Enjoy your vacation dear one, safe travels.

ecm said...

your last paragraph was beautiful...safe return trip to you.

Laurie said...

Your posts always touch me Jen, this one even more than usual. Safe travels dear.

Julie Pippert said...

It sounds amazing. And I hear your heart.

I can imagine the little girl. What a lovely story. Imagine 20 years from now...and a lady gave me this...

Enjoy the rest and can't wait to hear about the homecoming.

(Chani. Also so curious about your hint!)

Mad Hatter said...

I can just picture your homecoming now. M will be over the moon.

crazymumma said...

your little piece of you calls you home with her love will.

sometimes going away can remind us of how we need them in ways deep and palpable.

soon jen. bet you are going to cry when you hold her...or at least feel like it.

QT said...

I am glad you discovered a hidden gem during your travels - that is one of the main reasons I like to get off the beaten path.

M will be so happy to see you - thank you for sharing your evolution as a mom with us.

Em said...

Ah yes... the pull of our children. A few hours away from mine and my arms ache to hold them. I'm yet to be away from them for more than a night.

Lucia said...

Ahhh...great. Here are am, sitting at a little plastic table outside in Rwanda and craving...PUPUSAS!! (I don't think that's a craving that will be satiated anytime soon. Maybe I can stop at a Salvadoran restaurant when I'm in Guatemala in a week or so.)

Pendullum said...

The bracelet is so touching...and a gift that will be remembered by that wee girl a random act of kindness... how wonderfu lis that...

Whenever I have been away from Scooter...
I have felt nearer and dearer to her when I return...
I experience things without her...and I am so excited to return to tell her all about it...Brings us closer... when we are already close to begin with...

Hope you have a wonderful trip and a glorious reunion filled with sticky kisses and bear hugs...

Susanne said...

Ah yes, the longing for our children when we are separated from them.

Buenas tardes, amiga.

And welcome to the club of people who cut trips short to come home earlier...

Hel said...

You describe the pull towards someone you love with such beauty. M is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her.

Your trip sounds like such an rich colourful adventure. I wish I could peer through your eyes for a couple of hours.

Bob said...

Your trip sounds wonderful.

Once you have kids, your world view changes - forever.

just wait until M goes with you. Your travel experiences will change. Our kids were born in Greece and you wouldn't believe how having them with us opened doors. People offered help, rest, refreshments, talk about their family. Greek people love family, and I have yet to travel anywhere where kids have not been a universal key to open a culture to outsiders.

scribbit said...

Pictures? I'm envisioning those cobblestone streets--you have pictures to post?

metro mama said...

I was afraid you'd say that. I am apprehensive about travelling without Cakes in the spring.

carrie said...

I've been gone for a little while so naturally I had to pour over your last 3 posts.

You write with so much passion, understanding and description of the magical places you've visited on this trip. I wish I could have been able to articulate as well as you when I went to Mexico for the first time. A combination of awe, sadness and beauty all in one.

It is refreshing that there are voices such as yours out there and I thank you for sharing this beautiful journey with all.

Have a wonderful remaining time and try not to miss that baby of yours too much!

Carrie

Her Bad Mother said...

Wistful and joyful... exactly how it is, out in the world, without them, but carrying them in our hearts.

KC said...

Beautiful mama. Miss you tons.

lildb said...

that tiny anecdote was enough to make my mouth water.

you writerly writer, you.

can't wait to see pictures.

Momish said...

A lovely glimpse into your soul as trapse about without half your heart. Yes, that is what it feels like as I know from experience. Your homecoming will be spectacular indeed.

you da mom! said...

oh, i get itchy without squid after about two hours!

Rachel Briggs said...

hope you don't mind, putting up a link to your blog on my site, I love it!

Anjali said...

I love that line -- "entered more fully into motherhood." It's a beautiful phrase, and one only us mamas can truly understand.

Penny said...

You sound so calm and peaceful in these posts, Jen. It's lovely.

Wacky Mommy said...

I love your writing. Great posts.

urban-urchin said...

Have a safe trip home Jen. It's been awesome reading about your trip.

crazymumma said...

Just checking in on you hon....

Penny said...

Dropped by and read this again.

Love this, Jen:

I have entered more fully into motherhood on this trip - as strange as it sounds, the evolution continues even across the continent and in broken spanish, it beats strong and fierce, pulling me north.

Beautiful.

cinnamon gurl said...

Jen, glad you're having a great time... when you come back, I tagged you...