hell hath no fury like a networking dinner

I had been asked to speak at an engagement some months ago. I put it on my calendar and them promptly forgot about it. Good thing they sent me an email reminder otherwise I probably would have forgotten altogether.

The dinner was at a conference room in a hotel and idiotically, I assumed it had to do with affordable housing. I walked in and was directed to the room by a rather hot hotel boy. Everything's looking rosy until I got to the room. A room filled with professional networkers and staffing professionals. Immediately I started to itch. The hotel boy was suddenly nowhere to be seen.

My title at work presumes I am something I am not. I am not a business woman. I have never nor will ever network. And yet here I am, a speaker for the dinner tonight, a dinner of 50 or so folks who were absolutely NOT there to talk about housing.

Fuck.

The organizer found me and launched me into the circuit. All of these very nice people were on the hunt for new business, for connections, for opportunities. I had an incredible urge to hug them. This doesn't seem like very much fun.

I am seated at a table with 9 other people for a very long meal. Everyone is lovely. A bit quirky in a best in show sort of way, outranking each other with wild staffing professional stories and the like, and very, very nice. I am the only space alien. I kept having to catch myself from doing something outrageous; swearing in any sort of context or introducing myself as if I were at an AA meeting. Hysterical laughter. I was clearly out of control.

And there wasn't even an open bar.

It's finally time to speak. I had no idea what I was going to say as I was walking up to the podium. So I flubbed my way through non profitisms in regards to staffing and professionals (see, I can't even do it here - I still don't really know what it means) and then opened up the floor for questions. There were seven. Seven. I couldn't have been too much of an asshole, either that, or it was purely out of sympathy.

On another note, thank you for your comments to my last post. You have no idea how much each of them meant. Being heard is a wonderful gift. You all give me hope. Thank you.

Before you go, take a peek over at my review blog because my first Parent Blogger review is up today. It's all about sleep, so unless you already get plenty you might want to stop by. I don't get paid for this, it's just another way I serve my fellow wo/mankind. Well that, and a free book.