Thursday, January 24, 2008

and that's why they call it the blues

i'd by lying if i said things were fine. i mean, things are fine, literally. figuratively, it's rather bluesy. i'm bluesy, whether it's the time of year or the lack of words of the cold or the sick or the feeling essentially like i've got so little to ahem, fucking contribute! around here these days, i don't know.

i sat down to write something you know, cheery, but then the words get all knackered in the back of my throat. it's not the weepy blues but more an ambivalent shade of indigo or a self righteous midnight. i want a pleasant surprise, or a party, pity. something. natch.

(if you can't say something nice)

and don't even get me started on the primaries. those fools. stooping to nastiness when it's obvious to anyone that any one of them would be better than the current jackass in the big house if they'd just stand up tall and show us the way. i watched a live caucus over the weekend and saw folks screaming at each other, waving their ballot cards, bashing the other guy and thought it may not be the best, but it's democracy.

(don't say anything at all)

40 comments:

Beck said...

I'm sad right now, too.
I think it's the time of year, maybe.

Blog Antagonist said...

I think T.S. Eliot was wrong. It isn't April that's the cruelest month, it's January. Everybody seems to feel it. I am feeling very down in the dumps myself. Hang in there. The days are getting longer and more sunlight always makes things look brighter, literally and figuratively.

hele said...

Today I saw the first patch of sun in 12 days.

It was beautiful, a thin gold spreading and sinking into everything it touched. Making them feel warm and sparkly and loved.

kristen said...

the mister likes to watch the primary's but they make me sad, i start to lose hope when i see shit like that.

it's always o.k. to have nothing to say, especially when the words are tinted blue or even mean red.

love to you honey, much love. xo

Janet said...

"...an ambivalent shade of indigo or a self righteous midnight."

Even when you have (quote)nothing to say, I love the way your words roll around in my head.

I just walked in sub-zero temperatures to drop my kids at school. The power went out two seconds before the bell rang. I'm waiting for the inevitable call asking me to pick them up again, before they freeze.

January just has a way of sucking the joy out of every day living.

mamatulip said...

I'm blue too, but I think it has to do more with the fact that I am terribly sick with a head/chest/sinus thing than anything else.

Chin up, sweets. It won't be blue forever. :)

Ally said...

Sweet Jen, this is such a hard time of year. You do have so much to contribute, with the words you say & write, and the good work that you do at home and at work everyday. Don't undervalue yourself, girl. Just give yourself permission to rest and be quiet in times like this. Perhaps that's all you need. Love and hugs coming at ya.

ewe are here said...

Yep, rather than standing up tall they're all bent over, furiously shoveling and flinging dirt.

It's so freakin' depressing, almost like they're actively looking for a way to lose in the fall. And I'm terrified that if they keep bending over like that, they're going to.

cce said...

While I hardly ever have anything nice to say, I say it loudly. It's therapy. Give yourself permission to weep and rage. You'll feel better and apologies can be issued later.

Christine said...

this time of year sucks. especially when i had to come home to crappy cold and snow after a week of sunny days at the beach. and i am sad that we couldn't see each other.

{{hugs}}

Kyla said...

Yeah, I get this. Winter is creeping into everyone's skin.

Mad Hatter said...

Take a break, Jen. From the reading. From the writing. We all need one here and there.

Deezee said...

I've detected your blues lately, more in tone than in anything else. I don't know if I'm projecting, but seeing all the hurt in the work you do daily - even with the voluminous successes you pull off - must get wearing.

I think we all would like to have a magic wand to make human suffering end, but many of us place a little distance between ourselves and the reminders of pain. But you, my dear, run towards the front lines. If nothing else, remind yourself of the strength that demands...and then go do something nice for yourself.

Oh, The Joys said...

If I were there, we could just lie on the floor and complain... and it would be grand.

Indigo, indeed.

meno said...

I had to travel somewhere to see the sun.

It helped.


Maybe a trip?

wheelsonthebus said...

Oh, boy. You cannot imagine how happy I am to be here abroad, away from the coverage.

Emily

P said...

I know the feeling. January: UGH. February: UGH. March: Slightly less horrible.

QT said...

I am right there with you, sister. I wish I could tell you how to make it go away. That would mean I had found success.

Right now, I think we all just need to wallow.

crazymumma said...

I know. The dread malaise that comes with January, and the muttering bitterness of politics.

Maybe I should just show up on your doorstep with wine and cheese and a Karaoke machine for us, and balloons for M.

xo.

liv said...

Yeah, I'm noticing the malaise and the blogobligation nonsense. I've been discussing the latter with a (coughfluttercough) friend and we've come to the conclusion that everyone needs to chill. Post, don't post, read, don't read. Who bloody cares? When shit ceases to be fun it should be discontinued.

And that's my aggro two cents today.

flutter said...

I am teetering right on the edge of losing my shit, lately.

Mood Indigo. Love you.

Orangeblossoms said...

It's a blue time of year and life. I know my world has been reflecting blue for a while.

I, too, find myself astonished at the caucus action. This freaks me out....

Sad about Edwards, too. Sigh.

Aliki2006 said...

Feel better soon...I think the blues are going around these parts.

Mrs. Chicky said...

I feel you, sistah.

Momish said...

I've been feeling the same way, hence the silence on my part recently. And yet I miss the reaching out and the taking in.

I want the sun. The heat. The warmth. Two more months... Hang in there, friend.

Wayfarer Scientista said...

Hugs! If it helps any, this is statistically speaking the most blueish time of year anywho, and all that other stuff certainly doesn't help.

Hetha said...

I'm certainly feeling it. I've been pissed off and have not taken a single ounce of shit from anyone. In a way, it's nice.

Gwen said...

Here. Have a cookie. I just took it out of my oven all freshly baked and shit.

Better?

January will be over soon enough; and then it's only 345 more years until November ....

The Expatriate Chef said...

I left you a surprise shower present here:
http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/01/24/getting-less-to-give-more-the-new-birthday-party/

The Expatriate Chef said...

Oh, and while you were out, I got called up to debate how to handle world hunger. I did my best, wasn't stellar. Could have used some of your insight there.

painted maypole said...

i hear you.

and the primaries are ridiculous! argh!

Jennifer said...

Indigo is a perfect way to describe that mood. That melancholy. Indigo.

(I won't even start on the primaries, because then I won't stop....)

I hope the sun finds you again, soon.

carrie said...

Hugs to you, friend.

KC said...

It's a dreary time, it seems. This will pass (and now I'm inspired to get myself to the post office today - have been meaning to send you something, but having to change out of my pajamas has been rate-limiting thus far.) xo

Julie Pippert said...

Politics. We're a frightened people.

You. (hugs)

patches said...

If you can't say anything nice sit by me. We'll mumble under our breath together and poke fun at elected officials.

Slackermommy said...

Dark days and mudslinging gets me down also. Feel better soon.

deb said...

It's january. I'm sending a hug. And a joke. It's a bad joke I must warn you, but they are the best kind.

What do you call onions and beans? ANSWER: Tear gas.

Joker The Lurcher said...

there is a fair bit of that round here too. not helped by life dishing out various little bits of crap just to trip us up even further. ho hum.

chin up gal, it'll soon be spring

Lawyer Mama said...

((hugs)) I hear ya. I hear ya.