Thursday, January 31, 2008

war and teeth

M's been sick for a couple of days. After establishing who is more important at their work we decide J will stay home one day, me the next. My day was yesterday and M to her credit is feeling much better. She had the flu shot this season and it seems like every time she gets sick it rapid cycles in 24-36 hours and goes away. I don't know if the two are related but what the hell.

So I am home, a bit grumbly because she's not that sick and yet not all the way well and in that middle of the road whinefest. We watch too much TV and I sink into further self loathing, terrible mothering shit and the like. And besides this we found a princess dress the other day and now she wears it constantly and it's a struggle to get her to wear anything else. We've gone most places in the last week with her as a princess and even though I am the farthest thing from it it's kind of cute. But you know, there's a limit. Like sleeping and bathing. Or bathing at least.

So anyways, it happens I have a dentist appointment and these people at the dentist office, man do they hate me. They hate me because I hate going to the dentist, because I routinely reschedule, because I regress into infantile behavior and because I am a bad flosser. So I called today to see if I could wrangle out of it but the receptionist always takes a disapproving tone with me and I thought fine, you asked for it dental lady. So me and the semi-sick princess go to the dentist.

So there's no place for M to sit except on my lap. I'm tilted way back ass over teakettle with a princess sitting square on my bladder. It's dangerous because she never sits still and there's this chick with a metal pointy thing in my mouth. But since they hate me already I decide to let it ride and hope for the best. We finish intact (they may hate me but are good at what they do) and then the dental receptionist ice queen lady gets all gooey, goofing over M. But I have a reputation with these people so I don't cave in, it's all business. There will be no winning me over now, I rather like our years of almost hostility and parentification.

So feeling weary we head home, M cries the whole way because she's had a change of heart suddenly, she now wishes she had a snow white dress instead of her princess one even though she chose the damn dress herself without any interference from me. I want to put my head down on the steering wheel and cry, but then I notice my little dentist bag with 2 new flosses sitting beside me and for some reason that gives me strength, the not flossing in the face of new floss is at least something I can control.

It's all trivial and even amusing but somehow it's exhausted me, so much so that there's not even a proper end to my ridiculous little story.

37 comments:

sandra said...

Love you. Thought of you all day when I heard about Edwards.

I wage the same war with my dentist and non flossing in the face of floss is a mighty fine rebellion.

So did she get the snow white dress too?

Blog Antagonist said...

We need our little rebellions to retain ourselves, don't we? I think a non-flossing rebellion is as good as any. It's one I can definitely get behind.

Some days just suck. Hang in there.

kristen said...

i'm glad princess kiki can pave the way to sickening disney gratification. and F your dentist - i wish you could go to mine, he's actually made dental appt. better, if that's even possible.

Beck said...

I have to floss like a mighty flossing stallion to keep my gum disease in check, and view my visits to the densist as a refreshing spa day - no kids! - despite my plethora of nasty dental problems. Of course, I don't have to have this all done with The Baby balanced on my lap, Thank God.

Angela said...

Flossing, I always feel the guilt when I see that little white box and I'm in a rush and don't have time to floss, which reminds me I have to make appointments for myself and my kids, yuck! I have a wonderful dentist but I still don't like going.
I'm sorry the visit was so yucky. I hope you're feeling better, sounds like you had a really tough day, princesses can be very temperamental and demanding and we the peasants need to take some time for ourselves.

Annie said...

Three year olds can rarely be parted from their princess dresses - it's the rule. Miss E's cinderella dress is in near tatters at this stage, and still she insists she'll be wearing it as flower girl to my sisters wedding.

Oh, and floss lady! It's good for you ;)

Sober Briquette said...

heheh - nice title.

I can't imagine my dental team allowing my child to sit on my lap. They don't even want me in the room while they work on the kids! They're not the dragons you're painting.

Thanks for linking to the weekend post - I missed it the first time.

I think M is going to inundated with outgrown princess dresses from around the country. No one would take us seriously if we dressed like princesses, so I'm all for indulging it while you can.

PunditMom said...

Hang in there! And don't worry, the princess phase does pass!

hele said...

I have no words just an invitation to stretch out your feet on this little table and lean back into all these pillows and stare at the sunset while drinking another cold beer.

meno said...

i've been avoiding my dentist for a few months now, because i am a huge tooth weenie.

Joker The Lurcher said...

i find dental floss is very good for stitching together leather things have have come apart.

i'm glad its not just me that gets defeated by scary receptionists.

hang in there and put on your pink feather boa...

Mrs. Chicky said...

"...new floss is at least something I can control."

Ooh boy, I know that feeling. I must have control over something!

liv said...

oh, jen, lovey! i feel like you have officially been welcomed into my world. okay, now you can come into my sacred space. just don't tell anyone where it is!

Kyla said...

Rock that rebellion, sister. Sometimes it is all that gets us through the day.

flutter said...

Oh lord have mercy, woman. Come on down and I will give you a massage.

furiousBall said...

scary dentistry stories abounds in the blogosphere. i went to the dentist yesterday and discovered i'll be having two root canals next week.

Julie Pippert said...

I love that you found empowerment in the floss (or the not) (as you choose).

I was thinking about dentists. They are always so negative, IME. We just never, ever do it well enough for them, no matter what. And front office staff. ACK!

Sorry you had one of those days.

Here is a little beautiful for you.

mitzh said...

Having those kind of days are terrible. Cheer up!

Orangeblossoms said...

"not flossing in the face of new floss...." This, Jen, I completely, utterly understand.

Also, our five year old boy wanted a princess dress, so we got him one and he wore it for weeks until his mother came completely unglued and took it away from him.

He lived. So will M. So will you.

Also, good for you for not caving with the dental staff. Like people who choose to be meter readers..... they should be kept at arm's length-- at least while they're in uniform.

cce said...

They've totally got me in a corner and now I'm flossing almost every night and hating it all the while. Man can those hygienists can put on the holier than thou thing and make a person feel like a complete retard for not flossing. I mean, really, how many people actually floss when the don't have popcorn stuck in their teeth?

Christine said...

this kind of day always exhausts the hell outta me, too. treat yourself to an extra glass of wine tonight.

or whisky.

and my kids go in public in the weirdest stuff--today my girl wore a pink leotard with a pink sweater and a red plaid skirt--to school. writing it down it sounds ok, but looking at it is was very "i'm-a-six-year-old-punk-rocker" which in the end is pretty cool, i guess.



Running on empty

KC said...

Oh man, you know I totally heart flossing, right? But the dentist and my yappity-yap hygienist I can do without. It's always a blood bath.

(p.s. I have not read that book!)

ewe are here said...

Control. Perhaps that explains my little box full of unused dental floss packets.

ms chica said...

I feel you.

Except maybe the part about the princess dress.

Redneck Mommy said...

My cookie crumbled that way today too.

Yuck.

Maybe we would feel better if WE wore princess dresses.

kgirl said...

I can't even believe that you had your dental exam with M on your lap. That's good mothering. And hey, don't forget, if she's the princess, you are the QUEEN.

Pgoodness said...

"not flossing in the face of new floss" was exactly the perfect ending to that story. thanks for the giggles.
And I agree with redneck mommy - perhaps the wrong size girls are wearing those princess dresses - we need them to be mama size!

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mamatulip said...

Ah, Jen. I won't tell you how important flossing is (sorry. I'm a bit of a floss freak). ;) I'll just tell you that I hope today is better.

Oh, The Joys said...

I don't care how many times they tell me to floss. I just don't.

M...The Mayor...same, same, but different as they say in Asia, no?

Jennifer said...

Dentist. *shudder*. I'm exhausted just thinking, "Dentist".

I hate the "who is more important at their job today" dance. I hope M is better!

Amy Y said...

So thank you for giving me the chance to confess... I don't floss either. I use about 3 kinds of mouth washes to remove plaque and build up cavity defenses. But no floss. I just can't get the hang of it.

Hope M is better today!
Thanks for sharing princess stories... I love living vicariously through folks with daughters. :) I'll never have a lil princess of my own!

slackermommy said...

Ah, the princess stage. I'm about to enter that stage again with my third daughter. Thank God my son didn't go through it like the neighbor boy did.

alejna said...

I also battle with flossing. I go through stretches of vigilant flossing, and then inevitably I lapse. Leading to scolding from the hygenist. I hate the scolding almost as much as the cleaning.

But your story did make me laugh. I can only hope that my little one will rebuff the princess thing. (I can dream, right?)

Ally said...

I could seriously kiss you right now.

"the not flossing in the face of new floss is at least something I can control"

Thanks for treating me to a good long belly laugh today!

bgirl said...

HA - i can't tell you how much i love this post! right down to the floss, i so hear you sistah. i dread making the appointments just knowing i gotta get serious about the flossing.

luckyzmom said...

Put me on the "Avoiding the Dentist" list too. It's just about as bad as a mammogram. There's some things ya' just gotta do, but you don't have to like it.