holes in the bucket

Thanks for all of your comments on my last post. It's funny because I feel like a failure in these moments, that if only we'd been better at what we do then perhaps this sort of thing might not keep happening. For me, it's a loss. It's a weird dilemma, you want to be on the winning side of poverty and yet there are no winning sides. Non profits are futilely at the end of the line trying to patch social issues after they've already been damaged and battered beyond repair on their way downstream. Being at the front end, sitting in the policy tank has always made more sense and yet it's never been something accessible to a shelter girl like me.

And yet if those suits ever had me at the table you can imagine the things I'd say and not a lot of it nice. Perhaps that's another reason why I'll never get there.

Because see, folks only want to hear about what's working, about how their work has made a difference, how their bill created more jobs or more health insurance for kids. And whether that bill passes or not they go home to a nice house and food in the fridge. I am guilty of it too, I didn't tell you about the 25 people who slept outside last night because we were full and even though it's raining bureaucracy prevailed.

And perhaps it's another thing too. Sometimes I wonder if we all stood directly in the face of the heaving weeping desperate horrifying ridiculous problem of poverty in America if it might drive us all stark raving mad.