stars in their bucky eyes

Tonight on our way home from family night we stopped to get a coffee. We went to SB's because it was the only thing open, a place we usually ignore in light of local coffeehouses. I ran in and left J and M in the car and as i ordered realized we were out of coffee at home too. So with some trepidation I ask if they have Fair Trade I can purchase. And what happened next makes for perfect blog fodder, so here you go.

Adorable waiflike little boy child with streaky project runway style hair: Oh, yeah. (long pause) Um, if I knew what Fair Trade meant, I am sure I can find it for you.

Precious long haired girl from a good home: Yeah, if you tell us what it is......I know we probably have it. I just don't know what that means. Trade? I mean, you still have to pay for it?

Suave dude I'd have totally wanted to date when i was 18: All our coffee is Fair Trade. I just went to Coffee Camp and I learned that. It's been like that since 2004.

Me (older unhip mother type): Really? (I am shocked at this but maybe I'm out of the loop) I don't think....

AWLBC: No he's right. I remember that now.

PLHG: I mean, I am still not sure what you are talking about?

Me: It means we pay a fair price for the coffee rather than raping and pillaging rural farmers all over the world just to make a profit.

PLHG: (with a look of complete and utter shock and sincerity): I KNOW we don't do that. NO WAY would we do that.

Me: Well, actually, we do it all the time and not just with coffee. It's why you need to vote democrat. You guys vote, right? (shameless plug)

PLHG: What?!? (I actually feel bad, she's utterly sincere)

SD: I really think it's all Fair Trade.

Me: (skeptical) Okay.

They hand me a freshly ground bag and I don't see the FT label and so I turn around and look at the row of coffee and on the end, ding ding ding, there's one blend that's labeled Fair Trade.

Me: Ah, guys. See this? This is what I mean. They gather around and stare at the label and I actually read the subtext aloud to them, the waif boy smiling, the good girl still in shock because what do you mean we do bad things while producing and consuming in America? This is just COFFEE AND WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH POOR PEOPLE!?!?

SD: Oh, sorry. I think we WANT all our coffee to be Fair Trade. (he's still pretty cute)

Me: Well, you should. In fact, you should ask your managers and their managers about it. You could even protest, refuse to grind any more beans till this is resolved. People die for coffee, you know. It's our moral obligation to do the right thing. (taking it a bit round the bend now)

Waif boy is smiling vacantly now, clearly I've lost him. Good Girl still looks stricken, she offers me a whole bag of Fair Trade coffee for free, and you know, what the hell, I accept.

And they pack up my coffee and all smile and wave as I leave. Get the crazy bitch out so we can go home and watch American Idol.

It's the last day to get me your Just Posts. Send them over at girlplustwoATyahooDOTcom today and come back this weekend because we'll be setting the table out on the 10th.