Tuesday, May 27, 2008

the cheese stands alone

I don't know why I always do this. I subscribe my faith in navigating a situation or problem to another, viewing their capacity as superior to my own. Thank god you were here, I'll say or if it wasn't for you.....and in the doing I relegate my own superpowers to the background while basking in my awe of another. It was all you. It's penultimate, my certainty of you.

I do not know why I am so assuredly assured of your strength, or why I know that without you it could not have been done. There's a certain camraderie in this, a feeling of Go Team and the somehow belief that if only you'd do it with me then we'd surely succeed. It makes everything simpler; I'd eat better and learn kundalini and climb that mountain if only if only if only you'd do it with me do you want to do it with me not because I am afraid or because I don't want to be alone but rather because I am not so sure of my staying power, I get confused and I don't always have the answers, I don't know how to get the truck out of the mud and I can never remember what poison oak looks like and I give up easy and all of that makes me dangerous.

Besides, you are the better writer better painter you take better pictures you read more books you know how to code you kick ass you are a strategic thinker nothing scares you and so instead I crave a strength in numbers that is most likely false and yet still something I will cleave to, choosing to solve this together but it's you, it's really you that cements the deal.

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27 comments:

QT said...

Wait...doesn't everyone do this?

kristen said...

if it wasn't for everyone else, i'd still be in that cave.

Mad said...

Wow. In this we differ enormously. I am self-reliance all the way, baby! And yet, you wouldn't find me traveling about the jungles of this world no matter how much my dreaming life may crave it.

mamatulip said...

Oh, I know, Jen.

I know.

Gwen said...

And yet people feel the exact same way about you, jen. Anyway, what's so wrong with finding strength in numbers, especially for the really hard stuff?

wheelsonthebus said...

This is fairly common among women. We are taught to be humble, so we refuse to give ourselves credit for anything.

thailandchani said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with interdependence. We all bring something different to the table and I'm always happy for someone else who can do something I can't. It doesn't take anything from me to give something to someone else.

~*

Defiantmuse said...

ah, I know this all to well.

Kyla said...

Me, too.

But I could never take the leaps you have and will, and I'm sure your bravery and adventurous spirit has done a great deal of cementing, too.

Julie Pippert said...

Because you see how we each bring a gift that makes the collective better stronger more whole.

I wish more did.

And maybe that's one of the greatest gifts you bring: eye opening.

flutter said...

Dude. Clearly you don't see how everyone sees YOU.

Orangeblossoms said...

wow..... so.... I've been gone so long that i don't know when you gave this place a facelift. Sheesh! Anyway, I just caught up on the last bunch of posts. I have missed visiting here. I promise that you don't have to have a leather sofa to extend hospitality. I don't have one.... just a bunch of battered hand-me downs. It's all good.

Little Monkies said...

We teach our baby girls to always take the smaller piece of pie...it's not polite to want more for yourself and it's always better to leave the bigger piece (of cake, credit) for someone else.

Another version of this is called the "tall poppy" syndrome where it's widely known that the tallest poppy is the one which gets lopped off. Very effective means of repressing!

Great post, my friend.

KC said...

I think it's because you are all about others. (Not in a negative way at all, but in a "we are better together" kind of way.) I think it's because you are about lifting others to be the best they can possibly be.

painted maypole said...

first of all , the title kills me

secondly, you know that at least half of us feel that way about you, right? that it's all you, and maybe we can do it if you stand by our side, or better yet, lead the way (and does this mean that we are all the blind leading the blind, or that companionship on this journey of life is a give and take, sometimes leading, sometimes following, but always blessed by the company)

bgirl said...

okay, the title rocks...funny isn't how nobody wanted to be the cheese in that game..did they?

love this post. hits down deep.
sounds like your cheese, rocks, just like you.

Magpie said...

What Flutter said.

You kick ass, you do.

I wish you lived next door. I want you to come hang on my back porch and drink red wine and eat cheese.

slackermommy said...

So very true. Women in particular seem to need a collective effort.

Jennifer said...

You know, right, that you are that you for so many?

Jennifer said...

p.s. Look for an email from me re: exciting news in the near future. And if I don't send it -- bug me to do so, okay?

Redneck Mommy said...

Again, you write the words in my head.

Good job love.

Things went bad here. My heart is broken now. And we are back at square one.

I'll email you. Soon. When my heart stops hurting enough to talk about it.

slouching mom said...

jen, jen.

you are more self-reliant than you know.

you are also so like me. and, i suspect, like many of us.

oh, and RM's comment has saddened me.

Ally said...

This, from you, who seems to accomplish the impossible on a daily basis.

Janet said...

It's funny, but I love to be alone, until I have to actually do something. Then it's just as you said.

NotSoSage said...

One of Joe's co-workers conducted a study for his PhD on partner compatibility and determined that those who put their partners up on a pedestal were more likely to have long-lasting, satisfying partnerships. I don't know exactly how it was done (Joe doesn't have the same curiosity about methodology that I do...sigh), so I don't know whether there is any way to capture which factor developed first, but this post made me think of that.

Joker The Lurcher said...

i love how someone as tough and as strong as you still values what her partner can give her, and still allows herelf to be small sometimes...

crazymumma said...

Thats called being humble I think.