two steps forward

Tonight J will board a plane and fly solo to the jungle. He goes on a fact finding mission and to take care of some business, namely getting the keys to our little house and paying some pesky property taxes for that little bit of land. We've rented a little place in the jungle with the expectation that we'd be moving by now but circumstances abound and we are stuck for another month or two. Nonetheless we've made a commitment on the other end so instead of sitting idle we decided J can go for a bit and start laying the groundwork for our lives once we are there.

So the jungle beckons and with one foot here and one foot there I will drive my man to the airport and watch him load bags of our belongings onto the conveyor belt and double check that he has my very long list in his pocket: where do we get water / where is the nearest doctor / what about malaria / what are our options for schooling / will we need a coffee grinder (you think I'm kidding on that one but I'm totally not) / what size sheets will we need for the beds / is there a fridge / can you install a clothesline / where do we get mail / how will we get into town / where can we get solar panels / and how about vegetable seeds /and don't forget those funky chickens /and hey are there screens on the windows and I will send him off with longing and excitement because he gets to go and roll around in all of it while we stay behind. And the other truth is that I'm not quite ready, practicalities aside I need him to figure out some of the more important answers to our questions prior to arriving with my child as well as certain items we should make sure to bring on our one way flight.

Some of the village women have placed special orders so I've tucked jumpers and lip gloss and vitamins amidst our belongings knowing he'll deliver them soon and over a cold beer will undoubtably show off new pictures of M and exchange warm hugs and if I can't be there in person I can feel it in spirit all the while knowing our journey is close now, close enough to taste and after he comes home we'll have left a bigger part of ourselves there, the velvet cord reaching high through the mountains and over the ocean and tightening ever so sweetly around us as it beckons us there.