we are clearly ready for it to be over already

Me: Want me to chop up some garlic for the pasta?
Him: OK. But you consistently use too much garlic.
Me: What? How can you say this 8 days before the election? You wait to bring this issue up till now?
Him: You do. Consistently. I've always thought so.
Me: 8 days before the election? This is what you tell me? How will this help? Why are you dividing when we should be healing?
Him: Turn off CNN.
M: Guys! Guys! Listen to me! Stop talking!
Me: Baby, you are interrupting.
M: But
Me: Baby.
Him: Honey, hold on.
M: Stop!
Me: Ok, M, keep talking, baby. We may have to cut your taxes.
Him: We'll spread the wealth of your toy box.
Me: We'll socialize the whole house if we have to. Groucho Marx, Karl. Whatever it takes.

M: Crumples into a ball and starts crying.
Shit. We scoop her up in a hug. We were totally kidding. Consoling commences. Irony doesn't quite work when you are four. Thankfully she's happy again rather quickly.
Me: J, fix it, man. You did this. You are like the RNC, you just won't quit. Use the spin machine for good for once.
Him: You started it.
M: No more debating! I hate debating!
Me: This is going to be a long week.

Because of all of you we've raised $940 for the village. Thank you. So much.
Update: As of Wednesday AM we've raised $950.00. Thank you!