going to redneck country

I'm off to see her tomorrow, she who keeps taunting me with visions of frozen toes and mysteriously disappearing Mounties. Did you know that Canada supposedly has the best beer? But I think she means Moosehead and I don't have the heart to tell her that really isn't very good beer. Also, I hear it's cold up there but I figure people up north just like throwing the word minus and wind chill in front of numbers to scare us. I mean, do thermometers even work going backwards? And maybe the wind just needs to calm down. Is wind more nervous in Canada? I hear there are cheap prescriptions up there, maybe free health care and the wind should talk.

Oh, and I lost my only coat in Oregon last weekend. Do they hand them out for free in up there? They should. Free beer too.

It's a short trip but I'm bringing a big bag, I figure I'll covertly take a bunch of her stuff and then auction it off online and fund my trip to the jungle. Who's in? Anything in particular you are looking for? Just don't get your hopes up, I'm not sharing the Mounties.

Get ready, Canada. I'm coming and I'm serious about the beer. Calm down already. Can I borrow a coat?

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