Wednesday, July 29, 2009

recorded for posterity

My kid is really funny. I know all kids are really funny but this one's living here with me and I'm keeping her alive till she's grown and ready to do her thing so you know, she's special. And if I don't write it down somewhere I'll forget. Nearly five years old is a fantastic age, isn't it?

Proof positive:

M: Mama, do you still hate John McCain
Me: Well baby, I don't know that I hated him...
M: Oh, yes you did
Me: Bygones. Whatever, I don't hate him now.
M: So do you want to invite him to the jungle then?
Me: It's probably better we keep our distance honey. No offense to him.
M: Well, would you want to marry him then?
Me: What about daddy?
M: He won't mind.

Or this:

M: Grandma and grandpa love me a lot. I think they love me the most besides you and Daddy. I hope they never have their own daughter so they keep loving me best.
Me: Um, I am their daughter.
M: Oh, yeah. I forgot about you.

And here:

We were driving and discussing for the first time that Mommies and Daddies Sometimes Split Up M is watching it happen to a friend in the village. I am gripping the wheel tightly, thinking we are going to have one of Those Defining Moments when it dawns on her that this is something that can happen in the world.

Me: Well honey, sometimes mommies and daddies decide they can't live together anymore so they agree to live apart. But no matter what they love their kids and it has nothing to do with your friend.
M: So sometimes Mommies and Daddies stop living together?
Me: (heart sinking while puppies everywhere die) yes...
M: Well, if that happens I'm definitely going with you. Can I have some ice cream?

And my personal favorite:

Mama, when I grow up I want to work in a Pizza Parlour.
Me: That's great honey. Make sure to tell daddy, he'll love that.

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deezee said...

Thanks for some morning, out loud laughs!

TZT said...

Those are awesome!

I'm going to send John McCain some nice tassels to wear for you when he comes a-courtin'.

krista said...

i saw somewhere on a blog where a woman would take the little gems her kids said, write them on a piece of paper, fold them up and stick them in a big jar. that way, whenever she was having a bad day or even just a moment, she would take one out and read it and smile.
m is ridiculously adorable. and pretty brilliant.

Gina said...

I don't know why you won't invite McCain down - I'm sure it would be delightful.

My girl recently decided she wants to be a babysitter when she grows up. Maybe she'll bring the kids to the Pizza Parlor.

Anonymous said...

Ha! I'd go where the ice cream was, too.

Yesterday, Lorenzo got up on my lap and decided to start poking my breasts. "you can't do that," I told him. "I could do it all day, " he replied.

Anonymous said...

what a cutie.

i was reading horton hatches an egg (or whatever it is called) and ended up explaining the whole birds/bees things to my seven year old.

totally didn't see that one coming.

alejna said...

For the record, *I* would mind if you married John McCain. Just so we're clear.

hypoglycemiagirl said...

those are all hilarious stories!

Capital Mom said...

Those are pretty funny. She is a smart kid!

Anonymous said...

My 4 and a half year old recently asked me about divorce, too. It is a frightening moment, for sure, as a parent. I'm glad that M took it all in stride, though. And that she has her priorities straight with the ice cream.

Magpie said...

Yup. They're the awesome.

PS, I missed you this weekend.

Amy Y said...

I love her ;)
Glad you're recording this... I wish I'd be better about recording these things!!

flutter said...

she is a nut, I love it

painted maypole said...


we have been helping a friend with 2 young boys who has just split with her husband, and MQ has mentioned the fact that the boys don't live with their daddy. also, my neighbor warned me that divorce came up (from her girls) one day in the car when MQ was with them. I keep waiting for the questions, but they haven't come. I dread them. I am glad that she has gotten so far in her life w/o it really effecting her, but it's a truth she will have to learn sooner, I'm sad to say.

Kim said...

I love kids.

Kyla said...

Classic. She is a hoot.

bgirl said...

loved this. so loved this.