Tuesday, October 05, 2010

who are those people that want everything to stay the same

Part of it is because we haven't been able to make the whole "lets live in the jungle" thing work out as well as we would have liked. I mean, it works, and it doesn't. Namely, we haven't been able to earn a living outside the US.

So he is there and we are here and I'm back in the homelessness mix. Again. It's like Groundhog Day, like I never left, and like I've been gone a long, long time.

So we are building a house in the jungle and earning a living in the States. There's a computation error there somewhere, the addition is more than the subtraction. Or something. People are starting to ask that question, the what the hell are you guys doing question. I'd be asking it too.

And yet still somehow it makes sense. Hope, see. We haven't yet given up on hope, on the fact that we can make it work in a way unclear to us now. That by throwing in the whole towel we'd not have learned what we have. That drumming under a full moon in the jungle is really awesome, or that there are excellent doctors in rural parts of the world, or that survival can actually take up 32% of your day, every single day. Or that bugs aren't really that scary. That the sounds of the jungle can soothe you, that you can do most things you set your mind to. That you can grow a butterfly tree. Or that you can be really, really hot and still actually maintain a pulse.

That the whole experience may stretch you in places you need to grow and still not know the way. That the way is the way, not that sign up ahead.

Now if I can only believe it more than 32% of the time, every time.

Oh, and I miss blogging. Especially now that I'm back on the street.



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13 comments:

Janet said...

I'm sorry that you have to be apart; but I'm glad that you still have hope.

de said...

What does J feel about it all? How is your homestead coming along?

So, blog. Tell us everything and we'll soak it up and then cover the flowers with morning dew. We'd do that, just for you.

alejna said...

I've missed your blogging, too.

Amber said...

I'm glad that you still have hope. And I hope that you can find your answer. I bet it's out there, in the place you'd least expect.

hgg said...

I too missed you blogging and yay for rss feed

you do what you have/want to do and sod the people asking silly questions

Magpie said...

Inch by inch.

Blog your way through.

We'll be here.

TZT said...

Blogging missed you too.

I've seen some pretty strange things happen on faith this year. I'm glad you still have yours.

toddlerplanet said...

Blogging missed you too. I know this must suck, but it's good to hear you talking it out with us --

coldspaghetti said...

It is so close. I am in awe of everything you've done to get to this point. You are amazing... and it's so, so close.

Lara said...

You are - and always have been - inspiring! And your blogging buddies have missed you, too!

Sending lots of love infused with hope your way.

krista said...

ah, there you are.

Laurie said...

I'm still following your amazing journey.

Your hosts! said...

I've missed your blogging as well. I'm 23 years old and you're an inspiration for someone who eventually would love nothing more, than to get off the grid.

What do you think about starting an off-the-grid community here in the states? Buy a nice piece of land, contact other people with the same ideas and grow from there..

Take care!
John