Good morning America, how are you?

It's hard to be surprised by any of it really. 8 years of the worst government in American history, an unfounded war, a widespread lack of accountability and corporate feasting, stepping stepping stepping on the backs of the poor, on the rest of the world.

We sit and point fingers this way and that. If only they and if only now but we did this, America. We did this. And we didn't just do it by electing George W. Bush. We did it because we see ourselves as insatiable. Because we feel insatiable. Our SUVs need gas and our deserts need green grass. We need to buy buy buy the next fancy thing, the plasma TV or the Pottery Barn sofa. We fail to notice the cost of that business, of what we choose to import and under what conditions those goods were made. We set up agreements we think are in our best interest with little concern of the fallout. I'm not sure who we expect to take care of us but I am pretty sure it's not who we think.

We've let a few make decisions on important things in terms of what is best for them with little thought about what's best for us. We did this. It's clever, capitalism, and we've been distracted. American Idol is on TV and when we aren't watching that we've got an entire army of home/body/relationship improvement shows to watch: they've got it figured it and they can tell us what we need. Trying to keep up is exhausting and then before we know it we've bought a house we can't afford and our kid is sick. There's no safety net so we've got to use our credit cards, we think we'll catch up next month and all of that is a horrible distraction and all of that together has been simmering on the stove for years now while others are patiently watching and waiting, our soft underbelly has been visible for years but now our pants don't fit anymore. We are in trouble, America, and no amount of lipstick will fix it.

We didn't get here easy and fixing it won't be either. But we've got to buckle down, America. We need to agree to start doing without. We need to get our priorities straight and we need to stand up for what is right. People are losing their homes. Parents cannot afford milk. The stock market is crashing. This election is predicated on personality and spin and we are in danger, we are in serious danger of electing More Of The Same. We must join together and see our way through. If not us, who? If not now, when? But we need to do it for the good of the country, not for the few that have been benefiting from our negligence. This land is our land. This land is our land too.

I will gladly pay more in taxes. I am only as good as my neighbor's good fortune. This is not a time to panic because panic only breeds fear and we need our strength. We need to see the trees in the forest. We need affordable health care, we need to end this war, we need to raise minimum wage and help others keep their homes. We need to vote. Good lord almighty, we need to vote.

cryptic at best

I've been so tired. Busy. Working really hard on something that finally came to fruition this week. I want to scream and yell and tell you all about it. It's good. But it had a price. Everything costs in small or large amounts. One foot here, more like half my body and three quarters of my mind but parts are crossing over. Drifting south. It's closer and yet it's not quite close enough. Two more months we think. Two. It's not entirely up to us.

But back to the other. So much talking. Cajoling even. I am not so good at cajoling yet I find myself wanting to be cajoled. No one tells you so much of this is really up to you. Two steps forward. One half step back.

I have been absent. I know it. You do too. I had some guests here holding down the fort and they did a lovely job didn't they? Shined some lightness into dusty spaces. There's more. I miss you. Bon had her baby. Her little girl. I sat here smiling about that for the longest time.

Seven years ago I was in the State capital. I was in a hotel but I can't remember which one. A friend on another floor, the man whose performance we were there to see called us early. Turn on the TV he said. We've been attacked. The person I was with thought he was joking, in the hazy still sleeping early dawn he hung up the phone and turned over and muttered just loudly enough for me to hear. I knew my friend's humor, this wasn't it. I turned on the TV. We didn't go back to sleep. My friend stood up a few hours later and spoke to 500 people about peace and tolerance. Coincidentally he was supposed to talk about peace and tolerance. They considered cancelling but he said the show would go on. The show must go on. Today more than ever we needed to hear what he had to say. Everyone was crying and we sat in the front row. My friend, this person I love he looked at me during his performance, he held my eye for the longest time but all I could see was smoke and all he could think about was the family he hadn't yet been able to reach. We didn't sleep for a long time after that. We still need to wake up.