day 40: detox

When I lived in the States I was online hours each day. Between work and home, research and play, I sat in front of the computer a lot. I also sat in front of the TV.

When we moved here we decided not to have a TV and while we do want internet, it's taking a long time to get it connected. So (as you've heard me complain before) I use the computer maybe 3 hours a week, mostly for email and writing here. I don't read the news (ok I check the headlines just to make sure Obama is still hanging in there and fighting) but otherwise I've divorced myself from all of it: crime and celebrity and reality and drama and news and gossip and world affairs. In some ways it's making me ignorant, and ignorance is never a good thing. But in a whole lot of other ways it's the best thing I've ever done.

I don't miss TV. I thought I might but I don't. At night we read or play games and M occasionally watches a DVD on our laptop. I am a kick ass Monopoly player now and not half bad at Scrabble. I've been forced to break the dependence on these two things and use the time instead for more useful things, cooking (recently attempting to bake bread), cleaning, reading, being outside. I honestly didn't know how I'd feel about it and I am not saying I don't cherish my brief moments online checking in with you because I absolutely do, but I am not the laptop warrior I used to be, I go for a couple days at a time without checking mail and I've seen a TV once in 5 weeks and the volume wasn't even on (but Obama looked good up there and I'm sure he was being thinky about a lot of important things). I am not saying this makes me happy all the time, at times I find myself restless and melancholy, but I am getting more in touch with these things instead of pushing it aside and mindlessly entertaining myself.

Besides, all the woes of the economy? Terrible crimes? Horrible accidents? All those things the media throws about you like verbal pukeage and leaves you sitting in it with no idea what to do except lock your doors and be afraid? It wasn't working for me and I just didn't know it. I know it now and for the first time I can understand why it matters, or better yet why NOT having it in my life to that degree matters. The sun feels better than puke any day of the week.

do or die

Can I be with you until we both die?

She asks me this sometimes and I never know quite what to say. Do I tell the barren truth, I'm sorry baby but no, because (god willing please all divine beings in the universe let me die long before you for the love of all things holy let this be true) I will die before you one day.

Or do I deflect, yes baby, well, we don't have to worry about that yet but one day we'll both grow older and you'll understand a bit more about how we grow and die.

Or do I say the thing I really want to (and if I mean it enough can I will it so?) Yes, child. Yes. We shall live together forever and always walk towards the sun. The grass will feel sweet under our feet and we will drink from the coolest springs. We will dance in meadows filled with flowers and will sleep on beds of ferns and we will never stop holding hands never not ever not even once.

The truth hurts, sometimes far before it's due.

scandalous

An article circulating the web today has been making news citing an eco-scandal. Apparently an American Airlines plane flew from the US to Europe with only five passengers and now folks are outraged, by the fuel waste and the harm to the environment and of course, the irresponsibility of the airline.

But you know, I call bullshit. If that same flight had 200 people on it no one would have said a word because these flights happen multiple times daily every day of the year. If it's so horrendous to fly abroad with five people then it's equally horrendous to fly abroad with 200.

It's either the environment first or humans first and taking this sort of stand in a sensationalistic way is merely that. I doubt the planet cares whether it's five of us or 200 of us offending her because either way we offend her. Myself included.

If we are really outraged, we should ground planes altogether. But OH, THE OUTCRY! WE HUMANS CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT AIR TRAVEL! AND FUEL! WE LOVE OUR FUEL!

and the planet goes tick tock.

the disney empire and the alienation of hillary clinton

From the time we were young, boys and girls alike are infused with fairy tales. As we all know, the premise of fairy tales revolves around good vs. evil/victory over persecution, and generally portrayed through a victim/heroine/beautiful girl who usually is saved by a hero/bravado/prince after fighting some sort of battle against a villain/evil doer/often a wicked stepmother/witch/and in one case a weird female sea creature.

And intentional or not, this shit is keeping Hillary down.

At the end of the day our country has proved itself more ready to elect a man of color over a woman and whether you like Hillary or not it poses the question: Is misogyny embedded more deeply in our country's foundation than racism?

The subtle and not so subtle mistrust, anger, sexualization, and underestimation of women in our society is indisputable and mainstream media does little to quell the flames with it's advertising and programming and yes, it's political coverage. Portraying Hillary as manly, as emotional, as a bitch are all ways her gender is subtly and not so subtly brought into the equation. Online forums are no better, one of the popular political groups on Facebook is called Hillary Clinton: Stop Running For President and Make Me a Sandwich. We've found all sorts of ways to work Bitch into a statement about Hillary, both from Tina Fey's positive and brilliantly pointed Bitch is the New Black to all of the derogatory statements about why folks can't vote for her, she's too much of a bitch. Now if Obama was getting equal time for being called a Dick that would be one thing, but have you heard anyone say Dick is the new Black? Bringing Dick Back? I'm a Dick and Proud?

Oh wait. Dick's been in charge all along.

Before you call me a man-hater (which I am not) and a Hillary supporter, (which I am still undecided), or worse, that I am making a big deal out of nothing because this isn't about all women, folks just don't like HER; I ask you simply: If Cinderella's nemesis was a wicked Stepfather and she ended up selling the glass slipper on Ebay to pay for a Round The World trip with a couple of girlfriends would we be in this predicament today? And are we willing to keep showing our children that this way of defining women is acceptable?

And will we ever be able to see a woman as Commander in Chief?

This post is cross posted at MOMocrats and speaking of cross posting, I read this post on Friday was was completely overwhelmed by the author's courage as a woman and as a mother. The rest of the Perfect Posts are here and here.