Tuesday, October 31, 2006

mixed messages

Am I rotten for not wanting to take M trick or treating? The way I see it is for 364 days of the year I don't want her taking candy from strangers and yet I'd be professing it in all it's glory on Halloween.

Hey, go up to that ghoul and pimp out some chocolate that I won't even let you eat, kid.

Seems like a bad mommy move. Or maybe it's just me. She can wear her costume and run around the house instead.

Oh, and I almost forgot this. I heart Canada and the fantastic community over at UrbanMoms. You'll note I had my priorities less in order last year (hence the candy basket)

Poetry roundtable post coming tomorrow, sisters.


Anonymous said...

Agree with you completely about Halloween. I never liked the idea of teaching children (however subtly) that it is okay to go to a stranger's door and coerce something from them with a threat. "Trick or Treat". Maybe I'm being overly sensitive but.. there ya go. :) Why not get the kids in the neighborhood together and let them play for a while or something? It is a custom that should be changed.

You're far from "bad mommy". You're right on!


Thailand Gal

Nancy said...

You know, I never thought about it that way -- mixed messages. Hmmmm. Very excellent point.

It would be hard for us to avoid the whole Halloween thing with day care having a big parade and party and all that. We're lucky that we just trick or treat in our amazing neighborhood, which is more friends than strangers.

Anonymous said...

My daughter is almost 5. She finally figured out that Halloween is not about giving out the candy. She truly was torn between staying home to see all the trick-or-treaters and giving them candy and going around the neighborhood for the first time.

We only went to the houses of friends in the neighborhood. Whenever we met someone she knew, she gave them something from her bag. We got home early, but for some reason, despite the very mild weather, there were very few kids out tonight. When we told her we were turning out our light, even though she didn't get a chance to give out ANY candy, she stomped her foot and said, "I don't like Halloween anymore." I promised her next year she can stay home and give out candy again.

Thank God it's over.

Anonymous said...

I think if you don't do candy in your house, then for sure don't do halloween... I had a mom tonight take the candy from us and then say it was just for show...then give it back. It costs us money.

We did guising in scotland..you had to put on a show...it was much more steeped in its pagan past.

Momish said...

Holloween is a huge deal here, with so many kids and neighbors hanging out in the streets. I couldn't avoid it if I tried. But, even so, I find it fun too. It's one of my favorite holidays, so I will just have to try harder to get her to understand the mixed messages and hypocracy involved. When the time comes.

This year, she barely got it. Each time she received a piece of candy, she handed it to the next person. She was trading instead of collecting. I could have had a feast tonight, if not for that!

Anonymous said...

I agree, halloween is supposed to be fun and all. But my parents never let us go to houses, unless we knew the people handing out the candy. That way we didnt take from strangers.
oh and I think you are a great mommy!

Anonymous said...

I was lucky that my early years were in a very family-friendly neighborhood (Los Gatos). Everybody knew everybody, and trick-or-treating was huuuge. It was more about the costumes and the friends than the candy, though. It was, and still is, my very favorite holiday.

I actually wish they celebrated it more over here in the UK. We took MF to Chili's for dinner last night because they were making a big fuss over the kids for Halloween. He ran around the restaurant in his little pumpkin cape and had a great time. Next year? My mom's in the process of moving to Virginia from Nova Scotia...literally, she's leaving today...I hope to go there for the holiday.

acumamakiki said...

Pretty mama!! I'm glad to get a glimpse of you and baby M. Like that your left nostril is also pierced and I love the color/highlights in your hair.
Ok, onto Halloween. Since it's A's favorite of all holiday, we let her trick-or-treat but we really do know every person that she's getting the candy from since our neighborhood is like that. We oversee what she eats and we've instituted the candy fairy here. A can have as much candy as she can eat on the actual day (which is about 5 peices too much!) and then she leaves the candy bag out for the candy fairy to take and in its place, the candy fairy leaves a little toy ~ last night's booty brought hello kitty journal and pen, hello kitty lip gloss and an ugly doll for her backpack.

acumamakiki said...

I hit enter too fast! I sort of went overboard on the candy fairy thing, but it works out beautifully in our house ~ she doesn't miss the candy, the candy doesn't go into my mouth (where it inevitably ends up) and everyone is happy and whole.

mrs.incredible - aka Tabba said...

Yeah, I feel like a total stalker. I was so excited to see a glimpse of you.....and that beautiful baby!! I saw the picture and thought to myself, "Right on." I wish I lived in Cali.....see? I'm.A.Stalker!!!
Anyhooooo.....You have to do what you feel right with regarding Halloween. I personally, have great memories of it & want to share it with my kids. The past two years, we've gotten together at a friend's house (who we met through playgroup)....there's a bunch of kids, a bunch of parents and it's fun. We take the kids out for about 20 mins of begging, then come back to the house to play & just have fun.
Just because you say this isn't for you & your M certainly does NOT make you a bad mommy.
On the contrary.

Jo said...

Halloween is definitely not my favorite holiday...I get stressed when there's that much candy in my house. My kids only get candy from people we know too - one of the benefits of living in a small community. I pretty much let the kids pig out on candy for a couple of days then I take what's left to the office and let my coworkers feast. They growl that I'm making them fat...but it doesn't stop them from sticking their hand in the candy jar:) Loved your urbanmoms post!

Anonymous said...

We had a total of one trick or treater - my BF's nephew. They only take him to places where they know people.

Why don't you start celebrating Day of the Dead? Get M ready for Belize.....

BTW, LOVE the candy fairy idea! I'm going to pass that one on to my sister.

crazymumma said...

Damn, I am a bad mummy, not you. I live for Halloween and so do the girls. We have let hemselves gorge on candy on that night for as long as I can remember.
We have a pretty tight 'hood. we only go to houses where we know the people, so getting around the taking candy thing is not an issue for us, because we are there and it is done with our permission.

That being said, you gotta do what is right for you. And she is still so little that it doesn't really matter. Just wait until she is older....;)

Anonymous said...

I agree. In our neighborhood they have a little fair with games and things, and then you can trick-or-treat afterwards. I think that I'll just leave off that last part when Sam gets a little older.

Penny said...

I felt exactly the same way.

And, then, something happened...

Still don't know what it was..

But, it was fun.