pardon me while i pick myself up off the floor

I don't know what I expected, if anything, when I started blogging. I knew I needed an outlet, and I knew I wanted to find my voice in a different way. Once I got started, I was intrigued and inspired by so many other writers, and then, as time passed, a small community began to form. And it was very good.

But I truly had no idea that I would ever be the recipient of such amazing kindness, compassion, and brilliance. I stand awed and humbled by the beauty of your words and support. I know now that this is what I truly was looking for: A place to test the waters, to explore and reclaim bits of self, and to move proudly forward. Your presence has allowed that to happen. And it is very, very good.

Thank you doesn't come close. But thank you anyways.

That said, I took my words and post to J-Dog yesterday. He had heard the story before, but was unaware of how it was manifesting itself now in regards to the raising of M. And true to form, he spoke from a different angle and made perfect sense, so I wanted to bring that back to you.

He reminded me of a story about the Dalai Lama. He was asked his opinion on a topic and freely offered it. He was asked the same question again a few weeks later, and had an different answer. When he was called on it, he said something to the effect of "That was my answer then, and this is my answer now. It is different because I am different. I am not the same person I was then".

Hello. Exactly. I am not the same person I was back then either, and of course, in the now, I can have different answers, and better yet, I get to feel differently about it. I. get. to.

I realize how simple that sounds, but it shook me up and spun me around.

We all have the power to change how we let things affect us. And for me, something about this started right here with all of you. And all of that makes me want to kick some ass.