norma dies

norma and her mercedes came to us a few years ago. well past 75, norma had lived her life as a wife and mother and when her husband died some years back her son took over. he drained all her resources, financial and otherwise until all they had left was her old mercedes. they were sleeping in it for awhile but it was getting colder so they came in for help.

needless to say, norma's son was a right prick.

so norma and her very adult son moved into our shelter. he had no real qualms about his mother sleeping on the floor. i'd be lying if we didn't do all we did for norma in spite of her son, but they were a package deal. norma wouldn't move into any sort of home unless her son could go too.

her son was able bodied, but hadn't worked in years.

norma and her son continued to live at the shelter. she was terrific. spry and witty, capable and a bit terrified. we helped norma obtain some of her most important belongings from her (foreclosed) old house and put them in storage. she'd lived there for most of her adult life. norma used to paint, her oil works were important to her as were her old photographs. she still missed her husband, she'd tear up talking about his memories. her son would look idly away during our conversations.

i am not going to pretend i liked norma's son.

after some months norma had gotten used to the shelter regime but would still occasionally sleep in her car. she felt safe there and her belongings were inside. she slept in the backseat with her son in the front. they'd do that for a night or two to take a break from shelter life and then return.

norma wouldn't pursue senior housing because her son, while in his 50's, wasn't old enough to qualify. their only income was her social security, so they couldn't afford much. we worked some deals and got her approved for a studio. a microscopic unit with a murphy bed. safe and clean, but tiny for one person let alone two. we encouraged her to take this place and allow us to (grudgingly) assist her son. no doubt she saw right through our lack of compassion for the man who has put her in the shelter and put her foot down.

her son goes with her or she wasn't going anywhere. he looked idly on as she declared this and we had no choice but to agree. shin kicking came to mind but i kept my feet to myself.

so they moved into the tiniest of places, sharing the murphy and putting it back in the morning so they had a place to sit. norma's fixed income covered the cost. they lived like this for over a year.

norma died last week and her son still has no income. once things are sorted out her social security will cease and he won't have a way to pay the rent. the unit was under her name, the qualifications made on her credit and income. with her gone there is nothing keeping him in the unit. he's let her handle (aside from spending her money) all the arrangements regarding her rent and utilities and housekeeping.

norma's son has got to go.

i'd like to feel worse about that than i do, but sometimes, and to be honest hardly ever in situations like this, i really just don't.

rest in peace, norma, you good old girl, you. it shouldn't have been your lot in life but it was and you put others first until the bitter cramped end. i hope there's extra room in your murphy bed in the sky and the sheets are the finest cotton you've ever touched.