Tuesday, July 03, 2007

to whom it concerns

Dear Sir,

You don't know me but I know some things about you. I am just a girl on the fringe, watching the orange alerts creeping into red. I see the borders you are reinforcing, those walls look strong and those men with guns look mean. I see the new prisons under construction, the ones already overflowing (commuting Libby was money, dude. Way to save bed space!) I see the lack of Iraqis being granted asylum in our country, even as we run roughshod over theirs. That pesky deathtoll keeps rising, but calling it collateral damage is a great idea, so much easier to forget that way! And good idea saving money on supplies, our men and women in combat don't need much, it's plenty hot there already, no need to weigh them down with cumbersome body armor.

I notice the rising rates of HMO coverage, the fact that millions of kids can't see a doctor. I see the slow progress in Louisiana, even though some of your contractor buddies made out like bandits over a year ago. Schools are more overcrowded than ever; those federal budget cuts have a way of trickling down, good job cutting corners on that one. Who needs an education anyways! And that whole fight to minimize global warming? Good strategy, no need getting everyone panicked. In fact, incentives for purchasing over sized gas guzzling vehicles is showing your commitment! To Oil!

Not everyone has a house, and some of those who do don't have electricity. No worries there, folks are resourceful, they can use blankets. Plus there are showers at public parks and way less staff around to manage the traffic so any of us can sneak in and clean right up. Saves on water too! Food is an annoying necessity, but hey, dumpsters are overflowing everywhere. Speaking of landfills, I hear we might be using oceans now, what a great idea. Lots of room at the bottom of the ocean! Wasted Space!

All in all, Mr. President, I think you are doing just swell. That whole Patriot Act thing was the real kicker, keeping those people who challenge you in their place! Not to mention fixing the election back in 2000, way to go after what you want, we love that pitbull attitude. And who cares if the rest of the world hates us? We'll just keep them saddled in debt and and terrified of invasion and eventually they'll come around. I think you are doing a great job running this country - you never let anyone stand in your way, not even the truth!

And who cares about truth when we have fear? Fear! The New Truth!

Cheers,

She Who Waits Like A Dog In Heat For 2008

PS. Happy 4th!

PPS. What kind of dirt did Libby have on you anyways?

45 comments:

painted maypole said...

The letter I would have written, had I written a letter. Only better. You rock.

Tabba said...

I am standing on my tip-toes.
No, I am jumping and whooping, applauding, and screaming. Yelling

Allelujah!

At this post, Jen!

Thank you.
Thank you for writing this.

meno said...

Hell to the YES!

thailandchani said...

I ditto Meno. Hell to the YES!

Very good. Really. You've summed it up well.



~Chani, another dog in heat, waiting for 2008...

Little Monkies said...

SPEAK IT, GIRL!

liv said...

Boy, that's just the letter I'd write if I wanted to add to the ultra liberal threat file that is already being compiled on me at the FBI. What is wrong with this place? What is wrong with people that they don't wake up and see the state we are in?

I mean, in blogland we get it, but really....I mean, honestly. really.

me, I won't mince words: I'll be laying on my back like a dirty bitch in heat waiting for election time.

amusing said...

Tick tock. Can't come fast enough.

The Expatriate Chef said...

Why wait? I mean, a lot could get screwed up in a year. Don't underestimate that. Just go ahead and impeach both the puppet and the puppet master.

Then, we not only get a Democrat in office, but our first woman president as well. Triple play, baby!

Marymurtz said...

God, you rock.

My sister has a huge GW Bush bumper sticker on her car, and her husband makes fun of me (still) for voting for Clinton in 92 and 96. My response (then and now) was that I'd have voted for him twice if they'd have let me.

As it is, this is the ultimate corrupt government. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "We're all wearing the blue dress now." Ain't it the truth...

NotSoSage said...

Thanks, all of you, for restoring my faith in you good, good people south of the border. The rest of the world is waiting, too.

Em said...

You DO rock!

And not that you need a little pink badge to show everyone what they know is true, but I just gave you one over at my blog :)

Ally said...

2008, quickly come.

crazymumma said...

oh yeah.

2008 cannot come soon enough.

He scares the living daylights out of me.

kristen said...

Dude, you are money. I love you for writing this.

W and his cronies are abominations and my wish (impeachment) could still happen although at this late date, probably not.Pure evil is the VP and I keep thinking his heart will explode. If you're that evil, it should right? Those damn doctors he keeps 24/7 must have to work really hard to keep that evil organ working.

W will go down in history as the worst president of all time, that is assured but who cares...the devastation he's brought on our country and our people and the funnel that we continue to sink down into (well beyond 2008 I'm quite sure), will be the next person's job to clean up.

mitzh said...

You have written all the sentiments we have for that guy...

Happy 4th of July...

Deezee said...

waiting with you...

and may I tag "Be sure to vote in 2008 and don't take for granted who will take his place!"

mamatulip said...

This is why I love you, Jen.

Well -- let me rephrase that. This is one of the many reasons why I love you, Jen.

Happy 4th from your Canadian friend...

deb said...

I'm not American, but yes! Great letter.

Seattle Mamacita said...

i'd say send this brilliant letter off right now but then i don't think "the man" would get your sarcasm...

Bon said...

"Fear! the new Truth!"

dear god, that would be funny if it weren't so horrifyingly accurate.

happy 4th Jen.

painted maypole said...

thought of you this morning, Jen, when I came downstairs and my daughter was watching PBS. The first words I heard were a sloth puppet saying "Dude? Did you just say Dude?" My husband asked what was so funny.

Jenn said...

One Plus Two for President.

Keep Rockin' Dude.

I bet if you sent this to the White House and addressed it to the President in blue crayon, he'd read it.

J Fife said...

Amen! Happy 4th...

Hel said...

I was feeling all self righteous and mean and then I had to pack up laughing at the dog in heat comment.

I think you should mail it.

theflyingmum said...

Ah, GOOD one!

Lucia said...

Kick butt, sister! 2008...I'm counting the days.

KC said...

I used to think you had to be smart to be President. Ha.

He does though give hope to all the idiots out there in the world, that perhaps someday, they too can become President of the U.S.

ewe are here said...

This is good. Really good.

And, sadly, I bet that Bush will finish the job and pardon Libby before he leaves office.

alejna said...

Hurray for 2008! It can't come soon enough.

Christine said...

can i sign this, too?

seriously.

independence day indeed.

Lawyer Mama said...

"Fear! The new truth!"

Perfect, dude. Just perfect!

Karen said...

Happy Independence Day, looking forward to 2008 to exercise my freedom to vote!

Magpie said...

Damned great post.

Did you see this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN-eGOtBGbg

Long but terrific.

Bob said...

it's not dirt libby has on bush, it's bush partially repaying libby for doing his dirty work for him - outing plame to get back at her hubs for disagreeing with bush and not toeing the "needing a good cover story to invade iraq" line.

I'll bet you anything that bush will pardon libby after the election. got to take care of his home boy.

kaliroz said...

this is fantastic. truly, truly fantastic.

"fear the new truth". what a sad reality.

you rock out loud.

QT said...

I love that you wrote this, tho it makes me so sad. I am waiting with you, woman.

Julie Pippert said...

Do you give us all free rein to print this letter, sign it, and send it to Sir?

Julie Pippert said...

I ask because this letter? ROCKS. I'm pumping my fist while tears run down my face. :)

Laurie said...

Right on, sister. RIGHT ON!

Momish said...

You are truly brilliant, my friend. It is an honor to know you!

urban-urchin said...

ohh yeah. btw. go to youtube and google 'clinton got a blowjob'. it's a hilarious and entirely unchild friendly song.

carrie said...

563 days and counting until he's out of there (my mom has an actual countdown clock until Bush's last day), friend . . . I cannot wait.

Carrie

karrie said...

Love this!

Ruth Dynamite said...

I vote for YOU!

lildb said...

argh! arghhhHHHHH!!!!

argh.