foolery

Once upon a girl I rocked April Fool's Day. I was the practical joke queen, I'd staged walk outs on the job, announced teen pregnancies, staged a fake accident (I really got in trouble for that one). But the best, by far the best was the prank I pulled on a boss more about 15 years ago.

My boss then was a fiery guy, he'd yell at us all the time. He'd get so nutted up his face would get red and he'd sputter and throw things around. I was in my very early 20's, I didn't know enough to know it was wrong but I certainly found it funny and a bit inviting in the he must be knocked off his uptight little pedestal sort of way. So as April 1st rolled around I came up with an idea.

I'd called a stripper's agency and arranged for a stripper to come to the office under the guise of applying for a job interview. He and I shared an office at the time and I often scheduled his appointments, so it was nothing strange when I falsified a job application and showed it to him and scheduled an interview for noon on April 1st. I'd let most of the staff in on the joke and when the stripper arrived one of them came to get me. I snuck out to meet her and fill her in on what I was hoping she'd do.

I asked her to go in as if it's a normal interview and then midway through the interview pull one of the "it's sure hot in here" and unbutton her shirt and then do the old "I'd do ANYTHING for this job" with a hand on his leg. I asked her to drag it out as long as possible, the joke was in him not knowing it wasn't a real interview for as long as possible because I wanted him sitting there going WTF, WTF, WTF inside his head. We'd stashed a stereo under the desk at her feet so when she was ready she just had to hit play, the music would come on and I'd open the door so everyone could witness the end of the show and he'd realize it was all a big joke.

There's probably a million reasons why that was the wrong prank to pull on that sunny April day so long ago. But when the door swung open and she was rocking the dance I laughed my ass off and thinking about it now am laughing again. He saw all of our faces peering through the packed doorway and found mine and he yelled you are dead, Jen but was grinning and I think appreciated the elaborate gesture in the end. His wife (did I mention this was a little family run business?) was not nearly as amused and didn't speak to me for weeks. But all in all it was one of the funniest pranks I'd ever staged. The next year when I had everyone who worked for him resign every hour on the hour all day long was not NEARLY as funny, except to me because I couldn't believe he was gullible enough to fall for another prank the following year. By the end of the day he had his head on his desk and he was about to cry, and when I said April Fools I thought he was going to wring my neck.

Somehow I still managed to keep that job for another couple years. Go figure.