new

There's a crowd in the front, as I walk the long hall I can't quite tell what folks are looking at, the mood feels fine but the crowd is well, crowded. As I get closer I see little wheels in the center of the action and as I get even closer I realize it's a carriage. We've got a baby in the house.

He's adorable. Freshly born skin and curly hair, he's nestled into this somewhat second hand stroller sleeping away the morning while a motley assortment of folks ooh and ahh. Even the toughest dudes are checking him out, no one and I mean no one can resist a brand new baby.

I stop and lean down, I watch him move his tiny hands in his sleep and look at his mama. He's perfect, I say and she smiles. For one brief minute the surroundings fade away, the reasons she's here and the fact that this is where his life is beginning, it all slips into the background and we are just two mamas standing in a crowd looking at a miracle. The background comes forward again and in this minute I want to cry, because this is where his life is beginning and I know the reasons she is here must be terrible too. I suppose we all need to take things moment by moment in order to make sense of it all or otherwise it might simply be too much.

I'm bringing some sisters in over the next week to have their say because I am ass over teakettle consumed with work. I'll be around on and off but these women have kindly agreed to stack the house starting tomorrow and I couldn't be happier having them here.