RSS Feed (xml)1. We weren't able to leave when we thought we would. We are now leaving in late January. At least it's a real date this time, an honest to god this is when we are leaving date. It's equal parts terror and exhilaration.
2. We've had to rethink how we'll get there. When J was down earlier this month it became abundantly clear that buying a car there was going to be much more expensive and quite a bit riskier than doing it in the states so we decided to buy a car here and drive down. Believe it or not it's only a 5-6 day trip. Two borders and the possible shenanigans of customs officials not withstanding.
We aren't yet sure who will do the actual driving, whether J and I will drive or if J will go with a friend and M and I will fly down after he gets there. Something about three countries and a four year old makes that particular part of the equation unappealing, but it's contradicted by the notion of wandering down the entire length of Mexico by car, a journey I've long fantasized about making.
3. The recent flooding. Our delay actually turned out to be a saving grace, the house we rented was flooded and the family who rented it to us is in even worse shape so they need to use the rental for a while until they can repair the damage at their place. If anything, we'd have been in the way over the past few weeks. Everyone seems to think that by January things will be better but it's still hard to say. Sometimes this causes me great anxiety, it seemed adventurous enough without compiling it with a natural disaster but at the same time we've come too far to turn around now. Life is what you make it after all.
But it's settling in now, our belongings continue to shrink and we continue to loosen the ties that bind. It feels truly as if we are teetering on a precipice, we have no real idea what we are getting ourselves into and no real clue as to how we'll make it work over the long term. This tends to cause me anxiety while I strive to balance it with the desire to try.
About four years ago I was talking about this very dream to my yoga teacher, a goddess of a spiritual guru, and she said something that's always stuck with me It's one door at a time, child. You only get to walk through one door at a time. So as I reflect on the past four years of doors and how they've opened I can't help but think this gets to the heart of it, the not knowing is the journey and also my awakening, my refusal to cross the threshold is both my choice and my limitation, and fear is the only obstacle because nothing, not even vast amounts of unexpected water have caused one to slam in our face so far.
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