jen passes judgment

I have a neighbor I really like. She lives down the street with her husband and two kids. We've not spent much time together outside of random park encounters, but there have been quite a few of those over the past few years.

But her husband, see, I want to kick him in the shin. And yes, I am passing major judgment based on little information. He's from another part of the world. He's very good looking. Enjoys nice cars. He's got a great tattoo. And I've never seen him with his children. Never once alone, never once as a couple unless it's been in their yard at home. Never once.

She's with them by herself every single time. She's a terrific mom, very kind, patient, grounded. And overworked, tired, alone. Again, this is based on little information. We never talk about this. Even though every time I am with her I want to. And yet, the kinder thing seems to not pursue it. She's dropped small comments, nothing elaborate, it's told me enough. I've opened the door, and she's not walked through. The kinder thing seems to not pursue it.

I bet that before they had kids it was different, but now she's the mother, she has a job to do. And the game is on, don't bother me.

I am passing judgment. I might be wrong, I don't think so, but it's possible. And it's clearly none of my business. And curiouser still is why it bothers me so. This has nothing to do with me, impacts my life in virtually no way at all. And yet I care, I care because I know now what it takes to raise a child; the pain and exhaustion, the joy and laughter. If I had to do it alone, I would and I could. It's not about that. It's about having someone right there next to you who chooses not to do his part.

That's what makes me want to kick him in the shin. But more than that, it's interesting what my reaction says about me. Something very distant from my peace love and understanding frame of mind, and I am not entirely sure I like that, either. Perhaps I should be kicking myself instead.

On a different note, I had the chance to drive a fancy green hybrid this month. Check out my review over here and see for yourself.