Monday, July 23, 2007

me and julio down by the schoolyard

My beautiful wild child has been gone this week. I snapped this picture with my cell phone before she left, but the graininess doesn't betray her majesty and the blur only contributes to the whole. This child, her unruly hair and darkly amber eyes has been missing from our home.

We reveled in our freedom, noisemaking at midnight, beers on the porch and dishes in the sink. A quiet week filled with more conversation than usual, the conversing of adults with no particular thing to do. A forgotten art we had once mastered. A reckoning of sorts. How easy it can be to slip into your nonmotherly ways even after turning it all over to the gods once earlier peace had been made.

But we miss her now, with her screeching demands and food on the floor. Her waking us up early and throwing tantrums in the kitchen. We've called every day, her girl child sometimes tolerating the interruption and others I would hear not now, my ears are busy. And I was glad for your lack of missing because your joy is my joy.

Come home to your mother, sweet child. Let me gather you in my arms and feel your legs around my waist. Let me ooh and aah about your beauty and inhale your sweet smell. I will kiss you all over and hold on tight. Sit and share your week of travels, the big doggies and the pool, the zoo and the apples and I will ooh and aah at your discoveries and run my fingers through your hair.

63 comments:

NotSoSage said...

Ohmigod, Jen. She's stunning, truly stunning.

And I understand your love for the return from away so much, because it reminds me, too, what I miss.

Magpie said...

She is so lovely! I'd miss her too.

J Fife said...

Oh those curls! She is simply gorgeous.

Mad Hatter said...

I'm going to visit a childless friend of mine in a few weeks. Unlike some of my childless friends, she is someone who defiantly just does not understand why people have children. She is lovely and will be lovely with Miss M but she will barter in the language of why her current life is supierior to mine. I have been thinking a lot about this upcoming visit in an effort to remind myself that there is no use in rising to the challenge she will place before me. Her life is wonderful and fulfilling, and really there is no way I could ever convey to her what you have conveyed here in a way that she will understand. She can no more understand this thing, this beauty than I can understand her desires and fulfillments. But you, Jen, speak to it all so enchantingly.

thailandchani said...

Beautiful! And actually, I like the cell phone photo. It's unusual.. and the shading..

Yeah. I can imagine you miss her. :)


Peace,

~ch

Mad Hatter said...

furthermore, M is a constellation she is so other-worldly in her beauty.

Deezee said...

What a sweet photo. Ah, and the balance between freedom and parental love. May our hearts be forever tugged...

Tabba said...

oh, she is absolutely delicious.

I absolutely love the effect the cell phone has made on the image. It's beautifully haunting.

I can't wait for you to hold her again too.

meno said...

She is beautiful. Promise me you will never take her to a modeling agent, even though she is that gorgeous.

QT said...

ACK! No wonder she gets away with all her tantrums - what a cutie pie!

Glad you had a nice weekend, tho. Now you both will be re-charged and refreshed.

cinnamon gurl said...

She's stunning! Those curls!! I heard rumours that I missed a photo a couple of weeks ago and was devasted... so glad I got to see this one. Gorgeous and magical!!

slouching mom said...

She is breathtakingly gorgeous. Could she really look like that all the time? I'd be helpless in the face of such beauty.

flutter said...

Oh jen, now I am crying.

Little Monkies said...

My god, Jen, she's so beautiful.

Hold that sweet image in your mind when she's flung herself on the kitchen floor :)

Karen Forest said...

Oh my! I looked at this picture and I actually had a sharp intake of breath. She is beautiful. I mean utterly beautiful.

Aliki2006 said...

Perfect post, Jen--so lovely, your daughter and the love you have for her pouring out in your words.

kristen said...

It is very easy to slip into non-mama mode remembering yourself before. Short-lived, I'm sure you will drink your girl in when she returns. There's nothing better than the smell of your child. sigh.
I love, 'not now my ears are busy'.

Lucia said...

A beautiful post about a beautiful child. I love both the photo that captures a certain wild loveliness and the post that so warmly welcomes her loveliness home.

mitzh said...

She's sooo GORGEOUS!

And my heart ache reading this post..

Oh, The Joys said...

Jen, jen, jen. I just about fell out of my chair from that photo. There are no words for how stunning she is... so beautiful.

knicksgrl0917 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mamatulip said...

Oh, I know what you mean...it's so nice to have time to yourself again, to reconnect, to let the dishes sit, to leave knives on the counter, to bang around at midnight. But after a while you realize, something is missing...

Ally said...

That photo is unbelievable. What a gorgeous little girl. Here's to the sweet smell of our children, made all the sweeter when we've been apart for a while.

carrie said...

Oh, that face.

And the photo looks like it could have been taken anytime, anywhere - that's what I love about it (well, besides the beauty of the subject).

It's good to have a little childless time, but it's so good to realize that you miss them and can't wait to shower them with smooches upon their return!

Carrie

Ruth Dynamite said...

What a dollbaby! I've been smooching my boy like crazy after his week away.

Z said...

We went to a party last week, me and my husband, my son and his wife. I watched them talk to each other, smiling and happy, with shining eyes and resolved to babysit more often in the evenings, to send them out to enjoy each other.

PunditMom said...

That is an amazing photo ... I really like the grainy-aspect of it, too. It's funny how sometimes we wish for more alone time, and then when we get it, we miss the munchkins. PunditGirl had her first official sleepover last weekend. It was too weird at bedtime to walk past her empty room.

Blog Antagonist said...

She is so beautiful it makes my heart hurt. Ahhhhhh, to have a little girl.

It's amazing how we miss them when they're gone, isn't it? Mine are old enough that empty nest-ism looms and I wonder how I will deal with that. Maybe by then I won't care.

Em said...

Oh beautiful! She is so gorgeous - sweet child.

painted maypole said...

love the hair! While I love being home with no little ones, it gets too quiet, and that open door at bedtime, with the empty bed... it's just weird. It's actually easier on the heart to be away myself then to have MQ away, I find. Not to say that I don't revel a bit in that brief respite back to adulthood without interruptions.

Mrs. Chicky said...

With a face like that, how could you NOT miss her? She's a cutie. My lord, just look at that face!

Wayfarer Scientista said...

She's gorgeous - and that graininess makes the photos seem rather timeless. Thanks for sharing!

Beck said...

What a beautiful, beautiful child.

Jennifer said...

I have two of my three gone for the week and oh, it is so quiet. So beautifully quiet...and so lonesomely quiet. (Mostly beautifully so right now, but they've only been gone a day, thus far.)

Enjoy! Both the quiet and the return.

And your daughter is simply beautiful.

- Jennifer (Faking It)

KC said...

Oh Jen, she is an angel.

I love her yummy arms. And yummy curls.

That reuniting is going to be so, so sweet.

urban-urchin said...

What a gorgeous little thing that M. My heart aches for you too Jen. Godspeed little M.

Christine said...

i love that picture. she is like an angel with those lovely curls.

give her an extra kiss from all of us, 'k?

Mrs. Chicken said...

Her beauty is unearthly.

An angel, indeed.

crazymumma said...

ok. time for the angel wings and halo and we got us a picture. But the trappings could not do justice to her. so skip it all.

Don't do this to me Jen. You are making want and crave another small entity wreaking havoc in my life.

Thank goodness for the wreaking and the havocing.

without.

all is empty.

haven't thought of that song in years.

liv said...

in case you didn't notice, you did give birth to the most gorgeous confection ever. i mean, Peep's the queen around here, but she's no blonde CA girl...

Slackermommy said...

What a beautiful post and I love the photo. The graininess actually looks really cool.

Penny. said...

OMGOODNESS, JEN. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I THOUGHT YOU'D UPLOADED A GOOGLED IMAGE OF SOME GORGEOUS NOSTALGIC CHILD BEAUTY TO REPRESENT A POST, UNTIL MY SLOW-ASS PC FILLED IN THE BLANKS WITH YOUR FIRST SENTENCE. THAT LITTLE GIRL IS HEAVENLY. I probably love her just that much more, because she is yours. But, she is beautiful. Classically so.

Sober Briquette said...

She's so beautiful.

So, if I'd had my kids younger my parents might not have been too old to deal with them? I could have had a break once in a while? If only to experience the joy of reuniting. With the kids, with my husband, with myself.

ah, I'm wistful.

kgirl said...

OHMYGODDESS - she is super gorgeous. Those eyes! That hair! That look!

No wonder you miss her.

Binky said...

OH, THE CURLS! THE CURLS! I CAN'T GET OVER THE CURLS!

Her beauty aside, we just had a week without our daughter recently. And I hear ya. I hear ya gladly, actually, because I was beginning to think I was the only mother who could voluntarily separate from her child for a week. Everywhere else I read about people who weep copious tears at the prospect of two days away. But I knew our daughter was in great hands (grandparents' hands) and that the break was good for everyone. But by the end of the week, I was ready to ooh and ahh, too.

Lawyer Mama said...

I love, love, love those adorable wild untamed curls! She's beautiful, Jen. Just beautiful.

Pendullum said...

She is a true angel and can not imagine that she would ever have fits on the kitchen floor...

Amazing how empty house can be without part of its soul...
I can totally empathize....
And nowthat my daughter is nine... there are more and more of her adventures away... with her friends...
Sleepovers a plenty...
And she fits us in, come home to us...
and when the phone rings it is for her alone...
and we marvel at her independence and are happy for her at the same time a bit sad for ourselves... as we are no longer her entire world...

Quirky said...

What a marvelous picture! She looks like a little renaissance cherub. :)

Jenn said...

My.
Heart.
Stopped.

She is breathtakingly beautiful.

No wonder you miss her so.

Laurie said...

She is absolutely gorgeous.

mcewen said...

Lovely, really lovely.
Best wishes

Wayfarer Scientista said...

I did leave a comment here, or so I thought, yesterday. Anywho, she's gorgeous and the graininess in the photo makes it seem timeless!

Joker The Lurcher said...

ooh! this picture could be from any era! i hope she has a good holiday and that you don't ache too much with missing her

Kyla said...

What beauty!

Pgoodness said...

She is angelic and lovely and spectacularly beautiful. And I know what you mean about falling into nonmama ways, but boy do we snap back fast! Happy reunion with your sweet thing.

Hel said...

Soon...

No later than next year I will find the time and the courage.

ewe are here said...

Oh, what a stunner...and those wild curls!!

Lillithmother said...

wow jen, i thought my daughter was beautiful! ;-) it is wonderful to miss them isn't it...tom and I escaped for a couple of days back and it was heaven...i miss the non-demands on my time...but like you , i missed her more.

as a sidenote...jen, i don't visit regularily anymore because your blog takes too freaking long to load...it's all the streaming stuff on your sidebar...and as i only have time to whip through my fave blogs, yours (definitely one of my faves) has to wait until i have time to scroll through your many postings and mass comment instead. just wanted to let you know in case you were wondering wtf!

*hug*
Lil

Susanne said...

She's really gorgeous. And the conversation, yes, the conversation.

I'm always looking forward to childless days and then I miss my son the whole time.

But since I miss my husband too, we need childless time as well and it all evens out.

bgirl said...

"come home to your mother"
oh...my heart tugged at that line.

the freedom is always a good thing...."the forgotten are"...yikes you can't imagine how true that is for me....

welcome home M.

and YES...as it is a fact...simply gorgeous.

blooming desertpea said...

OH, she is a little beauty and I don't blame you for missing her, I would say something was seriously wrong with you if you didn't. But isn't it interesting how these little humans can drive us to insanity and we still miss them when they're not around?

christina cedeno said...

oh she is just gorgeous!

Momish said...

My God, she is beyond beautiful! An angel.