RSS Feed (xml)
It's not my story. From two degrees away I've known her, the intense decline of someone else's friend and valued employee to the brink of madness. It's not me who watched her decompensate, going from helping others to desperately needing help, seeing her fall through the rabbit hole, the lengthly hospitalization, the medications, the despair. It's not me who watched her climb up on a tall building not too far from here on the first day of this new year, the anniversary of her birth. It's not me who watched her jump and fall. But her death has touched people I care for, folks who had tried to pick up the pieces for awhile now and this final rebuke cuts to the quick. The constant replaying, the grasping at straws.
I want to be less morose, full of joy and introspection. I really do.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
41 comments:
Awful.
So sorry, Jen.
Some people just can't be helped, no matter how hard their friends and loved ones try.
I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to your friends.
They have to want to be well, there's no wanting that for them, no willing it hard enough. It's just to easy to take a life, in a bad moment, in a whiff of despair. I'm sorry. Wishing her loved ones strength and her friends forgiveness.
the line we all walk is so thin...my heart hurts for her, that that was her only choice. my heart hurts for those she left behind.
I've felt that urge, heard that voice in my head. Knowing you're losing everything in your life....horrible, absolutely horrible, for them, and the people around them.
Peace my friend.
I'm sorry. Peace for your friends. And you.
Oh Jen. I'm sorry. For some, this life holds more pain than beauty, no matter how hard and in different ways they try.
Ish. I'm sorry, Jen.
A beautiful post. Sometimes the most jarring events happen near people who can write about them, so they will be noted. You've done a superb job of leaving your friend's footprint on the sands of time.
Oh my God, jen. This is EXACTLY what I'm dealing with now. It's agonizing.
I'm so sorry.
I've been on the other side of this coin. Watching all of the eyes of those who love me, watching me, waiting for the one thing that will toss me over the edge.
The truth is? That was probably the only thing that could have brought her what she felt she needed, and while it's such a final answer to such a temporary problem, now her soul is in her own hands.
It doesn't help, and these things are just unfair. I am sorry for the hurt. So so sorry.
It's something I've come very close to doing .. and a relative finally did. It comes from being unable to see any other options. At the same time, everyone has his or her own path and there's no way we can know what it is - or why. I hope she has found peace.
Not owning the story doesn't mean you're immune from being affected...or that you shouldn't be.
<3
When we hear stories like this, even from afar, it stops us in our tracks. Reminds us how fragile life is. How fragile we all are. It's hard to be full of the new year optimism when the world is full of so many stories like this. But we know these stories for important reasons. Different reasons for everyone but big ones. Big hugs to you my friend. Glad to be back reading my favourite woman xoxox
I'm sorry, Jen.
How tragic.
Julie
Using My Words
There are many things in life I do not understand, but I think if I tried really hard I could sort of see the other person's point of view. Except this. I do not understand doing this.
I am sorry to hear it.
Emily
Oh babe, how sad, how utterly sad.
That's so sad. My sympathies.
its a horrible, horrible thing, suicide. i feel for your friends.
I'm so sorry, jen.
I'm so sorry. What words are there for such things? My heart goes out to you all and it wishes that maybe she has found peace.
I'm terribly sorry, Jen, for your friends who tried so hard. And most of all for her, who was not able to find any joy in life.
Hugs, Heidi
Oh jen, I am sorry. I have watched it, too.
Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry. Sending thoughts for peace and healing.
Dude. Oh Mama, this sucks. Sorry to hear about it... you are in my thoughts. :(
That is so terrible, so tragic. I feel for your friends, and for you. I'm so sorry.
oh Jen I'm sorry.
Mental illness absolutely terrifies me. I wish it weren't this way for so many.
There but for the grace of I don't know what have gone I as well as thirty years of my psychotherapy patients with not a one actually "successful" at an attempt. Talk about gratitude. For years I would tell myself that if one of my patients committed suicide, I would quit being a therapist. I thankfully haven't had to find out if I actually would quit.
My sympathies all around, and my love to you.
thinking of you and your friends.
oh, jen. It doesn't make it any easier does it?
this is such a sad thing,i'm so sorry jen.
I am always amazed that you remain as positive as you do.
You help to balance all the tragedy in the world.
I have someone close to me that reminds me of this woman - no matter what we do, it never seems to be the answer. It is a shame. It is very sad. I'm sorry for all those that loved her. Take care. Kellan
oh jen.
I have no words.
Aw, Jen.
Sending you peace.
I hate it when the shiny New Year becomes tinged with tragedy so soon.
thinking of you.
Sounds like a plan.
I hope your new year gets better, and for this woman, that she at least got the peace she was looking for, I just never want it to go that way for someone, does not matter if I know them or not.
Post a Comment